Recovery.

Man, ever since i've been increasing the intensity of my workouts. 

It's been harder to get my body to recover. 

I wake up every morning like someone just beat the SH!T out of me!! 

(I mean, that's pretty much what happens when i go to the gym) 

BUT, I need to recover faster!! 

Weird thing is, once i get a good sweat going and get the blood flowing, I'm a beast when it comes to working out. 

It's just getting my body to even get up to go. 

The goal is to hit the gym EVERYDAY (or at least 6 HARD days). 

Time to do work. 

In a positive note. This week is probably one of my best weeks ever. 

Diet. Working out. 

Just an overall productive week. 

Let this continue and be consistent and I'll be back to what i use to be in no time!! 

To health. 

BST.TLF. 

Russy 

P.s. 

I wanna get into mixxed martial arts. 

I think it's possible.

I mean, I know it's only the 2nd day of school...but I've managed to stay on my diet && go to the gym for 2 consecutive days (During a SCHOOL WEEK!!) 

That may not mean a lot to many of you, but it does to me. 

I know I've told my story countless times, and it reappears in many of my existing blogs, but i went from being: the guy you had to drag out of the gym, the guy who went to the gym twice a day for 3 hours a session. 

To: the guy who you couldn't pay money to lace up a pair of sneakers and hit the gym. 

It got so bad that I had gained nearly 90lbs in the 3 years that I was in nursing school. 

Weird thing was, everyone around me would tell me things like... 

"Russ, you're not even fat" 

"OMG, stop being so paranoid" 

"Come on Russ, just eat out w/ us" 

"Russ, seriously, you don't need to go to the gym" 

"Duude, you look the same as you were back then, I can't even tell" 

// 

I'm not sure if you guys were lying and just being nice, or you absolutely didn't see it. 

It sucks to know that people only started saying something to me when I had reached a size 44 pair of pants, wore a double X shirt, I weighed a whopping 230+ pounds, and would sweat just sitting there. 

SCHOOL WAS ALWAYS MY EXCUSE!!! 

It was always my way out...a reason to eat. a reason not to go to the gym. 

One thing i wished i did, was budget my time a little better. 

All I really needed to do was set a tight schedule, so I could get all my studying in, plan my meals, and also get in the hours i need to study. 

//

With that said, I know this year is going to be different. 

Senior classes aren't as time consuming w/ studying...yes, w/ projects and papers. 

BUT now that i have a 24 hour fitness pass, I can go anytime (NO EXCUSES) 

I know it's only 2 days in, but i already feel the change of focus. 

DO WORK. 

To health. 

BST.TLF. 

Russy 

P.s. 

Biggest loser was freaking amazing again tonight. 

I'm not gonna lie. I cried again. Damn it. 

But it sure is a motivating tool. If ya'll haven't watched it. 

WATCH IT. 

I will conquer!

THE DREADED STAIR MASTER!! 

I have absolutely grown to hate it. that's it. 

New week/New School Year

And the challenge begins. 

This will be the first time I will challenge myself keeping a gym regimen, a eating plan, while going full time back to school. 

It's definitely going to be a challenge. But I have to keep a determined spirit and mind. 

To health. 

BST.TLF

Russy 

The weekend curse.

Ever since this diet/workout plan started...I've FAILED. 

I mean, I've really let myself down, EVERY weekend! 

I go from being "Mr.Healthy" to "Mr. WTF are you doing to yourself" in a matter of a couple of hours! 

Something about friday evenings, then saturdays, and sometimes even sundays that seem to get in the way. 

I probably would be a whole lot more fit if I carried on the whole week, or better yet just didn't cheat so badly. 

// 

I'm hoping this weekend is different. 

I wonder how much more I would lose, or how much better I would feel if i just stayed consistent. 

Well...here is my chance. 

I'll check in at the end of this weekend, and hopefully i'll overcome the dreaded weekend curse! 

Do work. 

To health. 

BST.TLF. 

Russy 

When clothes don't fit, buy new ones?

How many of us are guilty of trying to compensate for our weight gains by simply buying the size bigger than we already wear?

Why do we spend that extra money, when all it really takes is some gym time and a watchful eye on the diet?  

Well, that's been the story of my life the past couple years. 

//

When I started nursing school, we had to buy these clinical uniforms that I have definitely wore out. 

At the beginning I dawned a medium top and bottom and it fit great. This was when I was about 150-160. 

As time when on, I gained the weight slowly, by my 3rd quarter things were fitting a little tighter and were getting a little uncomfortable, but still doable. 

My mom noticed, so she said..."Let's buy you a large!", I thought to myself, I'll wear the large size in the mean time while getting in shape to fit the medium again. 

Another quarter went by, and another...I was probably in quarter number 5 or 6, where the LARGE was getting tight. 

So my mom bought me another pair of tops and bottoms, this time they were EXTRA LARGE!! By this time, I had realized I had gained a whole lot of weight. 

I was reaching the 190's, and probably more so, close to 200 at this point. 

// 

So the past school year I've been sporting that sexxy XL outfit, and for some reason I stopped caring. Completely stopped going to the gym, and just ate and ate and ate. 

By the end of last year, as you may have guessed...the EXTRA LARGE started to fit horribly tight. I was probably 215 at this point. 

It was half way through the quarter when I was actually about to go to the store and buy a new set of scrubs, this time a double X. 

Then it finally hit me...am I going to be doing this until I reach a size I can't even fit into? 

Luckily, I managed to get through the quarter q/out buying a new pair of scrubs. 

I haven't tried any of my scrubs over the summer, but I'm gonna stay true to my goal: 

LEAVE NURSING SCHOOL THE WAY I CAME IN!! 

// 

I have refrained from buying new clothes lately. 

Just because I have so many clothes in my closet, WAITING for me to wear!! 

I mean, they'll be some instances where I'll need to go and get a shirt or what not, BUT from now on, I will not buy any clothes until I start fitting into my old ones. 

I'm starting to wear LARGE again!! after getting a little scared wearing the 2XL. 

Time to do work. 

To health. 

BST.TLF. 

Russy 

Cleasing: Day 3

2 blogs a day? 

guess so :) 

Wednesday also known as hump day?!

But we will try not to ever have such a day. Don't really like the name HUMP anyway ;) haha. 

Anyway... 

Although I have changed my course and plan. I've added (oatmeal in the morning) and protein shakes. 

So, pretty much it's the regular diet I'm on...but will end the week (fri, sat, sun) w/ only fruits and veggies. 

It's not a sign I'm giving up, but damn...these workouts i'm doing are getting intense. 

I'm doing nearly 3 hours in the gym at one time. (hopefully starting to do 2/adays again) 

Although I have gone back to the regular diet of consuming only 1200-1500 calories and day...

I feel so much better already. 

The cleanse will continue this weekend. I don't know if my body could even take the full week of eating nothing but that (I've done it before, but i guess i gotta start slow!) 

So here it is. Cleansing/diet week is going GREAT. 

I look forward to waking up every morning to tackle the day w/ the same determination. 

The beard is still going. 

Might be a couple weeks, who knows...just depends on how much work I truly put in. 

The body doesn't lie when you're looking for results. 

It only tells you how much you are putting in and putting out. 

So, after my 3 hour (almost passing out) workout today and eating quite healthy, which i'm pleased, I'm ready to take on the next. 

I wanna break the Thursday/Friday hump for me, because those are the days that always seem the hardest for me. 

So here we go again. 

I guess I can go to bed early tonight because I got my workout in earlier :) 

Hope you all are finding your motivation. 

To health. 

BST.TLF.

Russy 

The Biggest Loser: blog 2

Last week, i blogged about how much of an inspiration "the biggest loser" had on my life. 

Well, episode 2 last night really hit home. 

The only 2 shows on TV I've ever cried while watching, was "extreme makeover (home edition)" and "the biggest loser" 

I think watching shows about REAL people, in common every day to day struggles, make it easier to relate and to get attached to these individuals. 

Last nights episode was like any typical biggest loser episode. 

You had your challenges, last chance workouts will Jill/Bob, you had your struggles these contestants have, they even had a chef come in a teach them about portion size and what not. 

There was this one part of the show where it really hit home. 

During the challenge, they had the opportunity to work as a team to attain their goals for the week. They were placed in a river w/ thin planks, which of course wobbled, that they had to get across. 

At each stop there were incentives that are considered "GOLD" at this point, because anyone can go home.  

For instance at the first stop: 5 pound weight advantage 

2nd stop: another 5 pound weight advantage. 

3rd (final) stop: A phone call home (because phone calls to home are prohibited) 

The last stop was from stop 3 straight back to stop one: which was another 10 pounds. 

The only catch was...if 1 person fell in the water, everybody loses the challenge. 

While I watched this take place, I could only think about how much LIFE is just like this challenge. 

In any type of obstacle in life, many of us try to do things on our own. Yet how many times do we fail? How many times have we thrown in the towel and just let ourselves down!? How many times are we ashamed to get help and to really have the support system we need to succeed?!? 

I felt so guilty. 

This whole time while I was putting on this weight, and emotionally wrecking my self-esteem...I had people around me the whole time telling me, trying to keep me in line and accountable for the misery I was putting my body through. 

Sure I've always had the excuse of "SCHOOL" being a stressful factor, and I'll never down play how stressed I was in school and the challenges I went through...BUT i negatively channeled my stress into eating habits and a lifestyle that will only lead me to the grave. 

I watched, one person step onto the plank, then another, then you had 5 or 6 people on the wobbling plank all at the same time. 

Some needed to gather their breath and calm their nerves while others cheered them on and motivated them to get across to the finish line. 

At the end of the challenge...ALL of the reached their goals. 

LIFE should be like this!!! Building a support team around you...and keeping each other accountable in EVERYTHING (not only weight loss), will only strengthen you as a person and the goals you want to achieve. 

The next segment after the challenge were the contestant's phone calls to home. 

And this is where I actually broke down in tears and felt a deep connection. 

I listen as each individual called home. 

"I miss you" 

"I love you and I'm doing this for you and our future!" 

"How are the kids?!?" 

Then, the kids would be on the phone and say..."Daddy I Misses you, come home!!" 

It really showed you the struggle these people have went through. 

There were two individuals who really stood out to me...one was a youth pastor and the other a musician. 

As the youth pastor got on the phone with his wife, he talked to her about how he was just diagnosed with type II diabetes (which he had no clue about) and how he was going to deal with it...but then his wife also informed him that she was pregnant w/ a baby girl (they also have 2 kids at home). 

The man sobbed on the phone and said, If i need to do this for anyone it's my baby girl. He continued to say he did not want to die early, and being at 400+ pounds at the age of 28, will only lead you down a narrow path. 

At that time...I was lost for words, and all I could think about was doing this for MY family, not only the family I have NOW, but for the wife I'll have in the future, for the kids who I'm going to father!! 

THEY NEED ME!! they need me to be HEALTHY!! 

I broke down and cried. Tears of shame for what I put my body through the past 2 years, joined with tears of determination that I CAN DO THIS!! 

The second individual, the musician, had this life full of joy and happiness when he was younger. Playing gig after gig, and it was his true passion. 

Somewhere down the road, adversity struck and he began eating himself to what he currently is today. 

In a way, I can kind of relate because I'm also a musician at heart. 

When he was talking about his, i believe 10 year old daughter, He was telling a story about how when she was a little girl...she said "Daddy, I want to have a big belly just like you!" 

At that moment, he laughed and just brushed it off. 

He later went into tears, and pictures of his daughter (who is always now over weight) showed. I could only imagine how guilty he feels about his daughter also being obese at such a young age. 

As they were on the phone with each other...He could only proclaim how much LOVE he had for his daughter, but could not be there to show her. 

He began to tell her..."Daddy misses you okay? But I'll be coming home hopefully later, rather than sooner, because I'm doing this for you baby!" 

My heart sunk, these people have families who care so much about them, sometimes care too much about them.

These sometimes are the same people who offer them food, who take them out to eat, who shower them with unhealthful choices, because as they say FOOD is LOVE. 

It was hard watching each person go through what they go through without relating myself. 

I've always been the "BIGGER" kid. 

But i don't always have to be that kid. 

This episode really opened my eyes to my future. 

All of these individuals have hit rock bottom some time in their lives, causing them to steer into the wrong direction. Making wrong decision after decision. 

I want to catch myself before it gets too that point. 

Hitting 230 was a pretty low point in my life. 

BUT that is NOT gonna stop me, or discourage me from getting healthy again. 

I'm truly thankful for shows like the "biggest loser" 

There is so much CRAP on tv now, that it's hard to find something worth watching. 

This show is definitely worth watching. 

I pray, not only in weight loss, but in life...that I build that unit and surround myself with positivity. 

Life is too challenging to do thing on our own. 

With (first and foremost) GOD as the lead man and a family that will keep you in line...

Nothing is impossible with an open heart, a dedicated spirit, and a mindset of determination. 

To health. 

BST.TLF. 

Russy 

Cleansing: Day 2

*Sigh* 

Cleansing is always hard. 

Today was a pretty productive day though. 

I'm not gonna lie, I was tempted throughout the day to cheat. 

But i did work. 

Pretty tired from the gym (just got home) 

Did an hour and a half of cardio...and 45 minutes of abs/arms. 

So. this is gonna be short and sweet. 

Can't wait to tackle tomorrow. 

One day at a time. 

To health. 

BST.TLF. 

Russy 

Cleansing: Day #1

I have successfully completed day 1 of my cleanse. 

It's crazy how fast you can get off track, especially when you've only been on track for a couple months. 

Last week was...HORRIBLE. 

No other word can describe what happened to me last week. 

The lack of motivation and drive was irritating and somewhat intriguing.

Who knew that one day you can be the most motivated person in the world, then turn around and be one of the most uninspired.

That is why I have chosen to cleanse this week. 

Body, Mind, and Soul. 

The initial cleanse starts with the body. 

I have to rid the toxins I have put my body through. 

By eating only fruits and veggies and refraining from processed foods is the goal. 

I will also push myself to exhaustion at the gym. 

This will be somewhat be what people call..."HELL" week. 

In order to achieve greatness, you have to reach rock bottom. 

These past couple months have been just that. Feeling at the lowest point. 

BUT, that doesn't mean you can't get out of it. 

It's really up to the individual, and how he/she responds to adversity. 

Some give up. Some conquer. 

I WILL NOT LET MYSELF FAIL. 

It only takes a split second to reach the bottom. 

Yet it takes your blood, sweat, tears, and extreme effort to get to the top. 

Although, the body may go through the initial change... 

The psyche and mindset of an individual is what triggers the change. 

Without a strong self and inner drive...one will not succeed. 

You have to BELIEVE in yourself, before you can reach your destiny. 

Being humble in your defeat and failures, and allowing yourself to show humility, will only make you stronger, learning more from the experience at hand.   

Nothing is impossible. 

A verse from the bible that I find strength and refuge in when times get tough is Phil 4:13 

"I can do ALL thing through CHRIST who strengthens me" 

It really says it all in that simple, yet powerful statement. 

We can do ANYTHING, ALL THINGS, WHATEVER IT IS YOU'RE FACED WITH...through one person...CHRIST!

This passage may be confusing to some individuals, because some feel they don't need to put in the work, because they believe all we need is Christ. 

BUT we, ourselves, need to put in the work...and He will take care of the Rest!! 

This is a NEW week. 

A fresh start. 

I'm confident in my abilities...not only in losing weight and getting healthy. But also LIFE. 

If anyone reading this blog thinks, I'm ONLY about slimming down. 

You're wrong. 

In order for a person to become FULLY healthy...one must not only do the things physically to attain optimum health... 

BUT to focus on the MENTAL, SOCIAL, and most importantly SPIRITUAL side of the equations. 

We are in a world, with such corruption...that finding a balance in all of the above are hard to attain and retain. 

But again, nothing is impossible. 

With day 1 successfully complete. 

I look forward and am eager to start day 2 w/ even better results. 

Remember...God knows your potential and it's up to YOU to tap into that. 

Do the work, and he'll take care of the rest. 

To health. 

BST.TLF. 

Russy. 

New week.

It always feels good to start a new week. 

This is my last week of summer. pretty bummed about that. 

BUT, a new week means a fresh new start. 

Something about mondays...they just give you the opportunity to be different. 

I know you can be different just about every other day of the week. 

But monday...it's just monday. It's the start of a new work day for people doing 9-5's. 

It's the first day of school for some. 

It's just MONDAY. 

After my plunge last week of whackness. 

I'm back at it, and ready to take on any challenge. 

I usually cleanse before the start of a new school year or even quarter. 

So here it goes. 

Only fruits and veggies this week (& maybe a protein shake after a workout!) 

hahaha. 

Let's start this school year off on the right track. 

Let's do work. 

To health. 

BST.TLF. 

Russy 

WE RUN THIS SH!T

Nuff said. 

???

why is this week so hard? 

no clue. 

the BEARD

I guess the beard always become a motivational tool (for something). 

I've always had points in my life when i would say...I'm not shaving this beard until this... 

Well, this is another one of those times. 

From this day forward, I will not shave my beard OR cut my hair until I reach below 195. 

It's been so long since I've been under 200. 

and to hit that 190 mark will be something I'm looking forward to. 

So now it comes... 

Everyone asking why the beard, and saying "Shave that crap off" 

Only thing I can really do is laugh about it and shake my head. 

I guess if i want to not look like bear man, I'll have to work twice as hard to drop that weight. 

This time around I'm setting small goals instead of one big goal. 

I believe it's best to go slow in weight loss, but also have a projected goal at the end. 

150/160 is my overall goal -- but I will take it 10-15 pounds at a time. 

Slowly but surely. 

I have to keep telling myself it doesn't come over night. 

It sucks though because sometimes I get really discouraged that I'm not losing it as fast as I did in the past, but then again...I'm a lot older than the first time I attempted to lose weight. 

I tried everything in the past, and as much as I tried to lose weight...It kept coming back. 

(This happens because I kept giving into and reverting back to how I got there in first place) 

Even after almost a 30 pound weight loss...I've already had the feeling of being complacent and reverted back to the way things use to be. 

I want things to be routine (w/ working out and eating right) 

BUT, I also don't want to get tired of things and start going back to the old ways. 

Thus, it starts again today...small but attainable goals that are reasonable. 

I will conquer this. 

Just believe in yourself. 

To health. 

BST.TLF 

Russy 

The Biggest Loser

I now remember why I started this weight loss. 

It's amazing how fast things can change. 

The last 3 days have been the most "unmotivated" days yet. 

Hitting that phase is definitely hard to get out. 

A month in, and I'm already struggling. 

During the past school year, I happened to stumble across "the biggest loser" show. 

It inspired me, gave me motivation, and actually brought tears to my eyes. 

I felt as if I was one of them. 

Going from 146 to 230...that's nearly 100 pounds in 2 years. 

I was eating myself and not taking care of my body..to death. 

These past few weeks and month, have been great. 

Losing weight and feeling physically better, is the greatest feeling. 

I am no where near feeling accomplished and satisfied. 

BUT its a start. 

It's tough to know i've work so hard the past few months, yet 3 days can make you feel horrible. 

I think having this show back on will re-motivate me. 

I can't let myself down now. 

So let's do this (again). 

To health. 

BST.TLF. 

Russy

blank.

I really REALLY need to refocus. 

Get my head on straight w/ this. 

Cause mentally, I don't know about this week...

BUT I'm not mentally there. maybe I'm hitting that wall. 

I needa fight it off, cause i've already given in 2 days straight (Post weekend) 

Damn it Russy!! Don't let yourself down. 

I hate food week

So here we are again. 

First day of the week. 

This will be short and sweet. 

DO WORK!!! 

Cheat day. (fail)

I wasn't gonna cheat yesterday, but I said to myself, If I'm gonna work as hard as I am this week, I need to reward myself so I can keep this thing going.

I mean, where else have I gone for the last few "cheat days"...but WINGSTOP. 

The only thing is, I don't think after eating cleanly for this past week, my body was able to handle it. 

Mannn...I've already gone to the bathroom like 8 times. 

I guess eating cleanly is really working to change my body's perception on food. 

Eating clean and good makes me feel better about myself. 

&& these last couple hours, my head feels heavy, I already feel lethargic, and I'm thinking of just eating fruits and veggies today. 

NEVER AGAIN. 

I mean I love cheat days, but sooner or later it's only gonna be a cheat "MEAL" 

Cause, this ain't working no more! 

I've very excited and focused about this week on hand. 

It's a knew week. 

A week where I can shoot for a full round of 2-a-days. 

and actually attempt to get below 200lbs. 

It's been awhile since I've seen myself below that, but hard work cures all that. 

So this week is about cutting down those calories, no carbs, and running my A$$ off!! 

It's gonna be a fun week, cause i get to study for board too. 

BUT, I'm definitely excited. 

To health. 

BST.TLF. 

Russy

Mission this week: 

Get below 200. 

Update.

This is my first "blog" update on how the actual weight loss is going. 

Start July 12th, 2009: 

-230lbs 

Current weight September 12th, 2009: 

-206lbs 

I know when many of you see me, you will wonder why I've gotten fat. 

You'll have this thought, because you haven't seen me in awhile. 

Even though I have already lost 24 pounds, it's still quite a bit away from my "fit" days. 

So, I won't fret. 

I'm pretty sure i'll get the comments like..."What happened to you?" 

or i'll hear..."Did you see Russy? He's gained so much weight!" 

If only ya'll knew how hard I was trying. 

How determined I am. 

How proud of myself I already am. 

Ya'll never knew how BIG i got because i hid from you all. 

I hid the fact the I was gaining so much weight. 

I was ashamed to go out and be two or three times bigger than I was before. 

It's not fair to HIDE. 

From now on, I will go out, put my brave face on, and not care what people think. 

I'm working so hard to get healthy again and to attain/maintain optimum health. 

I'M NOT DOING THIS FOR YOU.

I'M DOING THIS FOR MYSELF. 

So, for all the doubters... 

for all the people who have given me a hard time. 

Thank you. 

Thank you for pushing me to become more motivated to obtain something i've missed. 

Thank you for allowing me to see that it's not easy and that it takes hard work to achieve anything you really want in life. 

2 months in, and 24 pounds later. 

To health. 

BLOOD.SWEAT.&TEARS. - TRAIN.LIKE.a.FREAK

Russy 

Goal: 

To leave nursing school how I came in. 

(whatever it takes)

Cica 2006

Here are some pictures I found. 

Pictures seem to be the best motivating factors. 

So here are some from 2006: 

Stepping on the scale

Growing up, I always had this fear of stepping on the scale. 

Being over 200lbs as a child wasn't fun at all, especially when all your friends were under a hundred. 

Made me feel like a giant!! I was always the biggest kid, and i guess i just got use to it. 

I think, for me, one of the worse part about growing up, besides being made fun of all the time...was going to the doctors. 

I remember on numerous occasions, I would think not eating for a day or two would drop my numbers on the scale, so i would save some embarrassment when they would tell my family how much I weighed. 

I was always hovering around 200, but even though i knew, i never really wanted others to know or I just didn't want to hear it myself. 

I've always wondered why some people get so scared stepping on the scale. 

It's really weird, because at my gym...the scale is in the very front of the cardio room, and it's funny watching people weigh themselves. 

Some people get right on, quickly maneuver the apparatus to get their weight, then push the thing so nobody will know. 

Others have this scared and apprehensive look on their faces before they step on, then beam this look of disappointment. 

I've even seen some people hop on and just be filled w/ joy and are triumphant about their accomplishments. 

I, myself, would never get on a public scale like this, unless it were in the locker room. 

But then i figured, why would I be scared of the scale, when I've been putting all this hard work in, and surely if i've been honest, the results will show. 

So for now, Should i really be afraid of the scales? 

Why should I, I've been working my A$$ off haven't I? 

Maybe it's one of those phobias I have to get rid of and just get use to what I once considered an Enemy. 

So from now on, I will not be afraid of the scale, stay focused and the scale will be on your side. 

to health. 

BST.TLF. 

Russy 

Pet Peeve

I absolutely HATE w/ a passion people who come into the gym. 

And act like they own the place. 

They walk around w/ all this swag, and they aren't even fit!! 

Why must people act this way!? 

It's so annoying!!! Like i wanted to punch that duude in the face. 

To make it worse, he was so effin' MEAN to his girlfriend, like bossing her around. 

"This is what we're gonna do" 

"You're doing it wrong" 

I mean...COME ON DUUUDE, you aren't all that!!

Even when I was at my peak physical shape. 

I made sure that I never let it get to my head. 

I treated everyone in the gym the same, and always offered a smile. 

Sure i look like i'm angry sometimes, but that's because i'm focused.

Being focused and being a DICK are two totally different things. 

This guy had that "cocky" nature to him, that made me want to SMACK him in the face!! 

It really a pet peeve of mine. 

Anyway. 

Just got back from workout #2. 

&& this workout was even more invigorating then the first. 

I'm proud that i pushed myself to do 2 hours of cardio and about 30 mins stretching/abs. 

If I just maintain and keep this thing going. 

In no time will i get to my goal. 

Story of the day: 

So the duude, that probably a month ago said "whoa..did you get married or something?" shows up to the gym. 

I'm on the stationary bike, and he walks on w/ his swag (But he's really a goofy person), he comes in and gives me the fist like, "Dang buddy, do work!" 

I have nothing against the guy, but damn, did you really have to be so blunt a couple months back! 

To me, it's a good thing he was, because it motivates me when people say things like that. 

It makes me realize that I have let myself go, and that I'm going on the path of...death. 

So, there are no hard feelings, just motivation. 

He says what he sees, and I truly expect that. 

Next time, just don't say it like an A$$hole. 

//

@ the end of the day. 

I'm truly inspired and motivated once again. 

The couple days that I didn't go to the gym, made up for this one good day. 

I probably didn't eat the way I should've, because i barely ate anything. 

BUT i'll try to do it healthfullier (that's not a word, but now it is) this time. 

So to all of you who actually read this. 

May you too find motivation, to motivate yourself, do something that you're proud of. 

Don't do it for others, but do it for yourself. 

To health. 

BST.TLF. 

Russy 

I WILL DO ANYTHING!

As determined as I am...

Nothing is good enough. 

I'm willing to pull all the stops this time around. 

WHATEVER IT TAKES. 

For a couple days this week (sun-weds), I lacked the motivation to get back to the gym. 

After my first workout today, getting that sweat going was the best feeling. 

There's nothing like turning on that ipod, focusing, and doing work. 

It's an adrenaline rush that i just can't describe. 

Somedays it's hard to even get up to go and workout. 

BUT when I'm there, i know it sounds corny, but it's me against the world. 

Working out is a place i can just let out all of life's stresses. 

Before it use to be my music, my keyboard, i use to sing until i teared up. 

But relying on the music, led me to a unhealthy lifestyle, which led me to where i am today. 

It's time to channel all my emotions on these weights, cardio machines, and hopefully soon...P90x. 

I am willing to do ANYTHING, to not be look upon as the fat guy again. 

Sure, i will have my cheat meals...but for 6 out of those 7 days out of the week, I will do whatever it takes to get me back to where I was before. 

This is list what I will never do; and what I will do: 

-I will never huff and puff just walking up stairs (1 flight, 2 flights, whatever) 

-I will never walk into a store and not even fit into the biggest size shirt or jeans

-I will never be called out for how big I am and how I fit I "used" to be

-I will never walk into a room again and have people looking at me

-I will never feel like I won't fit onto a ride

-I will never where a size 42 pair of pants again

-I will never dawn a DOUBLE X shirt and it still feel uncomfortable

-I will never have my cousins say "What happened to you Russy!"

-I will never have my parents worry about me being overweight and all the health precautions it may have w/ being obese

-I will never NOT go to an event or place just because of the way i look

-I will never be doubted because of my weight

-I will never have a P.E. coach tell me (or anyone for that matter) I can't do anything because of my weight 

-I will never let anyone call me LARD, FATTY, or all the hurtful things people said to me when I was young 

-I will never b*tch about/or have another excuse for not going to the gym 

-I will never doubt my own self 

-I will never let myself go back down that route (This is it!!) 

-I will never feel uncomfortable in my own car

I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES!! 

-6 meals a day 

-2 a day workouts 

-Getting salads at restaurants 

-Remaining true to my diet 

-Do it the right way 

-will go to the gym 5-6x a week  

This school year is gonna be different. I'm gonna start my career. 

And i have to start it right. 

Having this blog is suppose to motivate me in every possible way. 

Instead of negatively channeling my emotions and indulging myself into unhealthful eating habbits. 

I'm going to do it the right way and workout. 

This is to health. my health. (your health, whoever is reading this) 

Do it for yourself and nobody else. 

BST.TLF. 

Russy

Getting back on track.

Coming from a great weekend, filled w/ fun and food w/ friends you love. 

Always hard. 

BUT coming off a day which seemed like a "one day flu", even harder. 

I got all geared up, and was about to do some cardio here at home, and i started getting light headed. 

Maybe cause i didn't eat much this morning, but it's hard getting back on track. 

I failed last night by eating a little bit of rice, but the rest of the day was good. 

Twas sick for most of the day, so all i did pretty much was sleep and get my rest. 

I'm about to attempt to get back on the treadmill, but i think i'mma grab some grub. 

I'll check back at the end of the day, planning on going to 24 later tonight. 

But for now. i'm stuck at home. 

To health. 

Let's go. 

BST.TLF. 

Russy

Weekend failure.

So after 5 1/2 days of going strong... 

I fell into the trap once again of eating more than 1 day of an cheat day. 

&& let me tell you, i splurge on my cheat days this weekend. 

Although I did go to the gym a couple times on those days. 

I throughly enjoyed (yet slightly feel guilty about) my weekend. 

When friends from far off places whom you never see, come to town. 

You definitely gotta enjoy each others company!! 

This weekend was filled w/ time w/ my love, jenny, and also my good friends from the bay area...leejay, jeremy, gabe, and i finally after all these years met nang. 

We also met up w/ Bk, melissa, Joe, Mel, and so many more people. 

Although, i i know it's not an excuse to eat unheathfully. 

I did. and there's nothing i can do about it now. 

The only thing i can do now, is pick up where i left off and just do work! 

There's really no point in crying about it and making a big deal about it. 

These weekends happen, and the longer i do this  eating cleanly, the easier it gets and the more it'll be routine. 

I'm definitely excited for what this week has in store. Cause i'm all done w/ summer school and it's about time I have the time to study for boards and to also keep going to the gym!! 

I know i failed this past weekend, but that doesn't mean i have to keep failing. 

Pick yourself up and move on, is my motto. 

But making that mistake over and over again will only put you back to where you were before. 

So learn, live, and make the next day better. 

to health. 

BST.TLF. 

Russy 

Salads Only: Day #6

So I was at cheesecake factory w/ the boys, Jassstin && Jordz...and i was extremely tempted to partake in their feast of miso salmon and the classic chicken madera/steak dianne combo!! 

like cheesecake has to be my favorite restaurant to eat at, and I wasn't going to break my diet. I just came from an intense 2 1/2 hour workout where i almost passed out. 

So i wasn't going to break it. 

I was lookin' at the menu and was thinking too myself, WHAT THE EFF CAN I EAT!?!?! haha. 

*sigh* the low calorie/weight management salads caught my eye, and it was looking like i was going to stay on track. 

I love the company w/ my boys, and the times we get when we grub together. But let me tell you, this was one of the firsts in a long time saying "NO" splurging w/ the boys. 

I'm really adamant about eating 6 days clean and having one cheat day. 

I believe you need that one day to keep you sane from eating healthy, because everyone needs to indulge sometime. 

I'm just proud of myself and thankful i had enough will power to not give in. 

It's getting a little easy as the days go by to say "no" to things i use to just grub on. I'm attaining the same mindset I had when I was in shape years ago. 

So Here is a start to something new. 

I'm hoping today day #6 is going to be a little easier than the last 5. 

Let me tell you though, i feel great. I feel lighter and more energized. 

Let's keep this thing rolling. 

To health. 

BST.TLF 

Russy 

Here are some pictures to keep me motivated. 

(some pictures from when i started in July) 

@ Jenny's Apartment - looking Super swollen (in the most horrible way possible)

@ Janet's bday part -- sporting that double X shirt. :X

@ Yard House w/ the crew. This was probably my lowest point in all this. 

KEEPING THIS PICTURES UP FOR MOTIVATION!!! I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO WHERE I WAS!!! 

Keeping me focused and motivated.

I need to get below 200lbs before the start of school!! 

School starts in 24 days. 

Gotta do work!! 

Stay motivated and focused. Nothing is possible when you put your mind to it!!

BST.TLF. 

Russy 

Salads Only: Day #4 (and a half)

Wow. 

I mean, this was harder than i thought!! 

Today was the day of my big test, and usually i'd make the excuse of having finals or a huge test and be like, "I NEED COMFORT FOOD" and would just splurge. 

This happened time and time again. 

This was the FIRST time in forever, maybe since my La Sierra days, that I didn't or wasn't too tempted to eat bad. 

Even after my test, i came home. Made myself a spinach salad w/ that 1 calorie/spray dressing crap and a couple slices of turkey. 

&&& boy was it NASTY! like eating different types of lettuce, spinach, and other veggies and fruits and veggies was way harder than i thought. 

I told you, a couple days later i'll be saying i HATED it. 

That's strong i guess...i don't HATE it, i just dislike it. I've never been one to like veggies anyway, i'm more of a fruit kinda guy. 

Only vegetable i really like is potatoes :P 

Anywho. Day #4 of Salads only is about to conclude, and in those 4 days, i feel lighter and I think i've dropped maybe 3 or 4 pounds already. 

I don't know how long i'm gonna do this. BUT i'm definitely gonna enjoy my cheat day this weekend. 

To health. 

BST.TLF. 

Russy

Story of the day.

To keep me motivated I'll be telling a few stories. 

So here goes: 

I know I've already mentioned the day that really turned this thing around. 

It was the day when I went to the mall @ express, and a dude gave me a little pamphlet about losing weight and the "secrets" in the effin' store!!  

That's just not right...

Same day, at the gym, some guy I knew from way back who hasn't seen me in a minute, who i'm not even that close with, had the nerve for his first words to be.... 

"Duuuude, you got HUGE! did you get married or something?!?!" 

WTF!? did i get married!? 

What kinda question or greeting is that?!? 

Same day, I went to the donut shop w/ a buddy to get donuts for his sister...not even for me...cause i felt bad throughout the day and i was just starting. 

BUT the freaking donut shop guy, who happens to be someone i know because i use to work next door at lollicup, says in his chinese accent... 

"Oh WOW, you got FAT!!" 

I mean, if that doesn't tell you something...nothing will. 

BUT here is one of the stories that WILL keep me motivated. 

// 

STORY #2  

So one day at school, this was during spring quarter of this year (2009) 

We were having one of those LONG days at school, so i decided to dress comfortable w/ some basketball shorts and a tshirt. 

This was because NOTHING would fit right. 

Anyway...We were on break that day and this girl (who i still think it's annoying && WEIRD) comes up to me and says... 

"What happened to you Russ!! You got fat all of a sudden! you use to be so fit!!" 

I played it off by saying, "oh it's because all i do is study and i love to eat, they go together right?" 

Anyway...I was SooOoooO pissed off, for someone who I'm not even close to, to say something like that, was WAY OUT OF LINE!! 

I know, it wasn't a secret or anything, that I was gaining tons of weight, but its hard enough for a close friend to say something like that, BUT someone you've never really talked to!?!? 

Boy was I heated. So heated I started walking around and just didn't wanna talk to anyone. 

*sigh* 

To make matters worse, during the same break while i was walking around. I saw one of my close friends (i won't say his name) But someone who is always honest and will say what is on his mind. 

He says "Russ, you got big." this was in a nice/gentle way. 

I joked and i said "I know man, I'll lose it this summer" 

He just told me, "Just exercise man, and don't eat so much!" 

Even though it was a pleasant want of telling me i was fat, It was still hard to swallow!! 

// 

Thing is, I don't mind people telling me i'm gaining weight!! 

I'd actually rather you bring it up to me, than not. Because i think those are the people who actually care about you. 

I think it's just the way you go about telling the person!! I mean...for a person who hardly talks to you, to say it so bluntly, is just wrong. 

If i were to tell someone (which i probably wouldn't, cause i'll be scared to hurt their feelings) I'd pull them aside, and say...

"I'm worried about your health, and the amount of weight you're gaining, if you need someone to workout with and make healthy meals with, you know i'm here!" 

I'm blessed to have family && friends who care and have told me. 

I think my self-esteem was just so down that I didn't wanna hear it anymore. 

Maybe that is why i'm keeping this blog. 

I know many won't read it, but I know I will. It keeps the fire going. 

It's like fuel that I wanna use. Instead of eating to cope w/ things...I'm gonna go to the gym and take it out on the treadmill!! 

*sigh* -- it's good to just write it all out on a blog, because it's different when you're keeping it in!! 

To health. 

Strength & Honor. 

BST.TLF. 

Russy 

Looking @ this picture makes me Cringe!! 

I'll post some Updated pictures. but this is before i started. (Weight in picture 230lbs) 

Current weight (208lbs)