Friday, December 31, 2010

2010.

2010 has got to be one of the most interesting years I have ever had in my life. It's pushed me in a lot of ways, whether it has been physical, mental, spiritual or what ever way, it's definitely been a year I will always remember. 

This year definitely had many ups and a lot of unforgettable lows. From the births of new family members, to lives that have passed I will continue to remember. To many emotional and mental disputes as to whether I can and am able to complete tasks, I have been challenged in 2010. I am always thankful and grateful for these obstacles that are presented in my life, because I have always looked at it as a time to grow and learn how I can be a better, stronger, more wise and a warrior for God all together.

Although I tend to dislike the low points in my life, I am always intrigued as to how, when or even if I am going to get through it. Sometimes we rise to the occasion and sometimes we fall short of that finish line. But to me, it's always a matter of how we can push ourselves to our limit, and if we fall trying...then you can't be disappointed in your efforts. I've fallen short on many occasions, but the Lord always seems to open another door, maybe a better door...or maybe something that you didn't like, but in the end, you understand why that particular door opened. Jesus is by far the greatest, most quiet, but most pronounced motivator we have. If you listen closely, you'll see, hear or feel the signs so clearly that you won't even have to think twice about what you're doing.  

2010 Challenges:
Some of the challenges I had this year have been: the loss of Manong Ken, motivating myself to study for my board exams (failing), being in the hospital w/ a multiple brain bleeds after a hitting my head, weight loss, and being unemployed to name a few. These challenges have been some of the lowest times in my life.
When I lost my dear friend Ken, by far, next to losing my Lola, this is the biggest loss I have ever had to endure in my life. Sure I've lost some aunties and uncles in the past, but in elementary school you just don't understand the true impact of a person so close to you. I wasn't able to sleep for numerous nights, tossing and turning wondering why? why did it have to be him? he was such an inspiring person who always lived his life the right way and cared so much about others, that he sometimes would neglect giving time for himself. I miss my brother so dearly and I can't wait till the day I can just give him the biggest hug up in heaven.
Board exams. When I failed for the first time, I wondered if I was ever going to pass. I had a job lined up and all I needed to do was pass those exams and I was set. Little did I know that I had many challenges that would spiral from not passing. I didn't let it get me down, because I knew that I could put more work and effort into studying. It gave me the motivation to push harder and stronger. After not passing, only a few weeks later...
I hit my head after taking some detox tea. I've never been in the hospital before, and after this experience I definitely don't want to go there again. I've never felt so much pain, so much stress, so much fear, so much anxiety, so much disappointed, so much LOVE and PRAYER...ever in my life. This was definitely a low point, that turned into a high. A situation and experience that I can share to the world that God does exist and that he's watching out for us. 

The ups: 
From getting better physically after my accident, to graduation, to passing my boards, losing weight, and all the love from my family, this year is something I will always cherish. 
My accident showed me who in my life would always be there, through the toughest times. From my parents of course, brother, and Jenny...I had my closest brothers (Ken, Josh, Jordan, Justin, Uncle Garry) to name few who were there that night that I hit my head. They came out of no where to offer me a prayer and to give me love and support that I needed at that time. I will always have these guys as my brothers and I appreciate everything you all have done for me. period. 
Passing my boards has got to be one of the highlights of my life. The day seemed so long and so far out of reach, but it came on September 9th, 2010. *sigh*, such a great feeling. 
Losing weight, I'm in the process of doing it and almost completing my goal for the new year. my goal was to be below 200, I'm at 205 (5 pounds short) but I had to treat myself during Christmas right? :) After 22 days of not cheating, I deserved it. This month I've lost 21 pounds and I'm still going strong. I'm positive 2011 will show great things as to how much I can push my body. and I'm ready. 

I love my family, my friends and everyone in between. This year has shown me what true love is and how I can pay it forward. From agonizing hours spent challenging myself to study for my board exams and from failure to success, all in a matter of months...to diving into the "raw" lifestyle, back to a high protein-6 meals/day diet...to accidents and get-wells...I'm ready to dive into 2011 w/ a positive attitude and a never-give up mentality that LOVES, CHERISHES, and SAVORS every moment that is given. I'm thankful for all of you who have made this year amazing. I have so much to be thankful for and so much to give back. As the new year approaches and is only a few hours away, my prayer today is this:
 
Dear Jesus, 
May you shine your light in our lives. May you give us hope and show us your way, so that we don't and never have to walk this walk alone, but because of you we can do all things. Help us to Trust in you and to never lose sight of the love and promise you have offered us. Thank you father for dying on that cross for us, so that we may have the gift of eternal life. Bless the world and our leaders, bless those who are in need, may this new year give them a breath of fresh air and may they never give up on you. Help us to understand the challenges we are going to face, and always be thankful and praise You and nobody else for the successes we are going to face. Forgive us father from the sins we've committed and for all of our short comings. Thank you Father for always watching over us and for never giving up on us. I ask these things Lord, in your name. 

Blessings to all. Lots of Love, Laughter and Smiles.
Always, 
Russy

Keep fighting.

"Victory is always possible for the person who refuses to stop fighting" - Napoleon Hill


Thursday, December 30, 2010

Tire out!

If you think your body can't take any more...keep pushing it until you throw up. 2nd workout of the day, here we go.

Resolutions.

1. No Fast Food 
2. No Soda 
3. Gym at least 2-3 times/week 

I'm going to limit my "health" new years resolutions to 3. I've always made large lists in the past, but these are simple and achievable. No fast food. No Soda (even diet). and as much as I wanna put going to the gym up to 4-5x a week, 2-3 is doable. 2011, I expect big things from you. 2010 was good to me, but 11 will be something I'll always look back and say, I did it. 

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Iron Mike.

About running at 4am - 

"Nobody wants to get up and run at 4 in the morning when it's pitch dark, but it has to be done. The only reason I do it so early is because I believe the other guy isn't doing it, and it's giving me an edge. The hardest part is the training, believe it or not, the easiest part is the fight" - Mike Tyson 

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

3 day cheating...

Got it out of my system. What was suppose to be a 1 meal cheat, turned out to be a whole weekend. It is what it is. The holidays is about spending time w/ family, and some of that time has food included. I'm not gonna let it get me down, although I feel disgusting from all the unhealthy food I've eaten, It's time to get back to work and take care of business. No more. No more. No more. I won't have another "cheat meal" until the 1st of February. I will not regress like I have in the past. It's time to continue what I've started and begin the new year w/ a bang. I'm ready. Let's go (again).

Friday, December 24, 2010

The Holidays. Sauna. Wheel Chair buddy. Afraid.

The Holidays: 
We're right in the gist of the holiday season. Christmas is right around the corner, and it's I'm so blessed that I have wonderful parents, brother, girlfriend, dog (rocky), and extended family to spend it with. Although I'm extremely broke, I was able to buy everyone a present this year. Most importantly, the most important gift to give is, LOVE. The whole reason for the season, is that just that. Love. Christ came down as a baby as a gift of love from God, so that He may die for our sins. It's crazy that for most, the first thing that comes to mind are, what presents to give, what decorations to put around the house, or where to go and what to do to have fun and relax during this season. But what should come to mind is the story of Jesus and Him coming down as our gift to have life w/ Jesus. This season, I have so many things to be thankful for and to give the Lord praise. Praise for my life and health after a life threatening accident. Praise that I have passed my boards. Even though I'm still unemployed, praise that I can take this time to relax and be stress free for once (a hidden blessing). Praise that my parents are in good health and that they are working, unlike many other Americans out there who are struggle w/ the recession. Praise that my brother is performing and doing what he loves, and finishing up school. Praise that I have a beautiful girlfriend who loves, cares and is there for me though everything and anything. Just SO much to praise the Lord for. This is what the holiday season is about. 

The Sauna: 
I've been going to the Drayson Center for almost 10 years and I have never stepped foot in the sauna. One day I decided to give it a go...this has now become one of the things that I look forward to when going to the gym. The benefits that the sauna can have on our bodies and minds are astounding. I've gained so much relaxation from it and I will definitely continue using it. It's also a place where old men gather together and share stories, laughs and all sorts of "old men stuff". haha. It's great just chattin' and getting to know these guys. I absolutely LOVE the sauna.


Wheel Chair Buddy: 
I met this man in the sauna a couple days ago. A man in his 30's who was in a wheel chair. He came into the sauna and we just started talking. I didn't want to bother and ask him about why he was in a wheel chair, but the whole time I was talking to him, I was just so amazed how this guy didn't let being in a chair keep him from doing certain things in life. I could only imagine how hard it is, and it made me think, how selfish I was for disregarding my health and abusing my body w/ foods and not going to the gym, when I had 2 feet that could walk, hands that could move and almost perfectly healthy I was, and to treat it like I did. I mean, I don't and have never used drugs before, but food is pretty much a drug that can kill you. From this point on I vow to never give excuses why I'm not eating right and working out. It's going to be a part of my life and I'm going to always be thankful that God gave me the health that I have, so I may use it for him always. I have so much respect for those individuals who have handicaps, but honestly they don't have a handicap...we (those who sit on their ass everyday and eat junk) are the ones who are creating a handicap for our lives. All the respect to those who have disabilities. Hope I see my wheel chair buddy again, such a blessing. 

Afraid:
21 days to break a habit. 20 days of being good. Christmas is tomorrow and it's 1 less day of breaking that habit. To "cheat" or not to cheat. I've ate healthy, gone to the gym or worked out everyday...I'm I ready to have a cheat "meal"??? I'm honestly afraid, but it's the holidays, and you can't be afraid to treat yourself. Everything in moderation right? I won't revert, but it's a scary feeling, knowing how I was just a month ago w/ my eating, and what I have become in just a short period of time. It's something I want to continue, and something I'm going to continue. Need not be afraid Russell Ivan, you've got this.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

I will NEVER let myself get this big again. EVER.

Me @ 230+ pounds. Enough said. Stay motivated & focused. 

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Bring back the old me.

It feels SO good to be on point. Diet is on point. Working out is on point. Everything is going as planned. I never thought I'd get this mentality back. I thought I left the "old" Russy, behind. The one who would go to the gym for 3 hours, and still want to go back for more. It's a great feeling to have this back as a big part of my life. I only have the Lord to thank for this, and nobody else. Sure my friends are an AMAZING part in helping me achieve this, but God has definitely put the energy back into my life. It's been a struggle not knowing and not having a job yet. My self esteem is definitely down, but I'm never going to give up. I never have, and I never will. Being this motivated into getting back into shape and making it a part of my life, has helped me realize that anything is possible if you put the effort in. I'm blessed to have 2 feet to walk, 2 hands to use, Eyes to see, Nose to smell, Ears to listen, a heart that beats...you get the point. God has given me a body that is capable of many things. A body that can serve Him and spread His love throughout the world. For the last 2 or 3 years, I was lethargic. All I thought about was where I wanted to eat and didn't take care of my body. I still love food, and I always will. But I can't let food be the drug that kills me. I control my own destiny, and I'm ready to maximize the potential that Jesus has envisioned. I'm making small steps into being the person that I once was. Motivated to live healthy. Thank you Jesus for everything. I love you.

Hungry.

In the midst of this journey I'm taking, I find myself facing a battle of self control. A few years back, it was second nature to say "no thank you" and not eat foods I knew weren't good for me, and even be so extreme that I would say no to foods that weren't that bad. I'm still getting accustomed to this process, and even though I find my self hungry, I'm getting use to it. Along w/ the physical hungry comes emotional struggles. I believe that eating satisfies physical needs as much as (or more) it plays an important role to our emotional needs. Maybe that's why I gained so much weight? Maybe. I've gone 17-18 days w/out a cheat meal or day, and I'm getting to the point where it's becoming more of a routine then it is a struggle. I won't lie that it's getting pretty challenging, especially when my workouts are being intense, or when my friends go out and eat good food. But, it's what I have to do. It's what worked before, and what will get me to where I want to be. I love food, but I love my health more and I'm gonna do whatever it takes to get there. All for the end.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Friday, December 17, 2010

New York Knicks.

The excitement is back! I itch to work out and crave to eat right. I even did 2 workouts today, and my initial thoughts were that my 2nd workout would be LAME, but it turned out the opposite. I feel like the New York Knicks! Everyone is talking about how good they're getting and how long it's taken. The energy is back in the building, and it feels just like that. I have a renewed passion for going to the gym and sneaking in a lot of boxing. I know it's going to take some time to get back into shape...it always does. But I feel as if I'm turning corners I've never turned in a long while. I haven't cheated on my diet for 15 days and usually I'll quit by day 5 or 6, but this time I want to keep the momentum going. Ama're Stoudemire of the Knicks took a horrible team and created a positive atmosphere. All it takes is positivity and work to make something better. You've got to have the right mind set and the work ethic to get things done. I never thought I would ever say this, but I want to be like the New York Knicks. I want to prove the doubters wrong, and take a something that's been bad and make it good again. I can't wait till my next work out and my next meal that'll get me to where I want to be. If I can do it through the holidays, I'm convinced that I can do anything. This is it, the turning point. I've got 2 bets going on, and I hate losing. This is it. Gotta love life, because God has given a life that has only loved me. 

P.s. So thankful for the weekend. Rest is BEAUTIFUL!

Doing work!

I lost 10 pounds this week, well almost...9.4!
You have no idea how much this means to me.
I've worked my ass off, put in the work, and it shows.
Never really been THIS motivated in a long time, it took a bet to get me this revved up!
This will continue, cause like I said...I'm gonna run through the wall!
Looking forward to next friday! Scale time!!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Gotta go get it.

I've said it many times before. Nothing comes easy in life. You gotta take what's out there and go get it. If you like something, chase it. Run after it, take it by the shoulders and pull it to the ground and make it yours. If you really want something, you've got to be passionate about it and do everything it takes to get it in your hands. My mentality has change, and I'm really hungry and I want it bad. I don't want to climb over the walls anymore, I wanna just run right through it, and that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna go get what I've said I've wanted to accomplish these past 2 years. I won't let it slip through my fingers again, because I'm running as fast as I can and I'm gonna hold on to it. This is mine to take, and only my will and determination will get me there. I know what to do. I've done it before. I'm gonna prove the world, that anything is possible if you believe in yourself and fight. 

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The right mind set.

This is what I had for my "cheat meal" for the week.
Plain turkey and mustard sandwich, on whole grain bread. 
If I feel guilty eating this, then I must be getting the "right mind set back". 
Before, I use to feel bad about every little carb that went into my body.
I know how to lose weight, and I'm gonna do whatever it takes to get there 

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Biggest Loser.

You are an inspiration. 
You prove each time, that nothing is impossible. 
You remind us, that life is all about second chances. 
You will get me through this.

No excuses. Exhausted, but ready for more.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Lovin' every minute.

This journey feels different. I'm honestly excited. I've always been one of those people who always try and do things on their own, especially when it comes to working out. It's just easier. But I've found that having people close to you that want you to succeed in your goals, are so much more fulfilling. Mikey, Josh and Ken...You 3 have inspired me. Inspired me and have built this energy that I cannot seem to stop smiling about. I'm fortunate to have you all as my friends. We've grown up together and it just feels right to see all of us pushing each other and sharing the sweat and pain (maybe not the blood yet) together. For once in such a long time, I feel like I can achieve this. Deep down inside, I feel so embarrassed and ashamed that I let myself go this much...but it's never too late to change. I've never felt, not once, that I'll screw up again this time, because you 3 have been the backbone and I know you'll always believe in me. To make it short and sweet: I'm having fun. I'm loving every minute. and I look to share so much more w/ you all in this journey. Let's go.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Samson?

I believe hair has hidden powers. 
For Samson, it was his strength.
Am I the same way?
If I grow it out again, will I harness that strength back? 
Feels like it.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Ron Artest.

Such a strange man, but a man w/ many words. 

"I always follow my plan 100 percent, even if I know I'm going to fail."

"I know I'm going to make bad decisions in basketball. I know I'm going to probably get knocked out boxing. I might break an elbow playing football. But without pain, there's no pleasure. Without failing, there's no success. I'm a perfectionist who's not perfect"

"I overtrained swimming this week," he said on the way to the game. "So I'm going to be really tired tonight. Which is kinda how I like it."

"I can be too strong for some small forwards, so they don't want to go at me, so I get bored. So sometimes I overtrain on purpose before a game just to see if I can lock a guy down with only half my energy."

"Because once I get into that gym, that ball is like a drug. When you see that ball go into the basket, that's like one of the best drugs ever. I'm addicted, and I hope the state of California illegalizes it."

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

One day at a time.

I'm notorious for setting HUGE goals. 
Some of which people would LAUGH at. 
I also CHERISH the opportunity to prove doubting people otherwise
Showing them that I have what it takes...just allow me the chance to prove you wrong
This NEVER GIVE UP mentality has always been a strong attribute I hold strong. 
It's gotten me places I would've never imagined. 
Helped me achieve GOALS that only belief could muster. 
My approach will be DIFFERENT
Large goals are great...
but when I've learned that it can also set you up for disappointment and eventually FAILURE
Thus, one day at a time. 
Each MORNING is a new morning, and begins with the rising of the sun. 
Each AFTERNOON the sun shifts and by NIGHT the sun has been overtaken by the moon. 
Every hour is precious, and so are every minute and seconds that tick by. 
I WILL NOT waste any more time of my precious life. 
There is SO MUCH BEAUTY in the world, but also beauty I CAN GIVE to the world. 
I've been placed here for a special reason, and whatever reason that may be, I will try my BEST to live up to what the Lord wants out of me. One day at a time. I won't waste it. 
This is me, a new me. 
New Years resolutions usually falter, but this won't be a resolution, but a commitment to CHANGE my life
To make good things great, and to make greater things even more great. I always say, Live the life you love and love the life you live.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Tears.

Sometimes you just can't help but cry. 
I sit here and understand that there's a meaning behind each tear. 
Good to get it out.
Doing this for us and what I have to look forward to. 




Head up.

Who would've thought finding a job would be so hard? 
Isn't this why I went into this field?
The saying "you won't regret it" or "there will always be a job"...
Is definitely NOT true. 
I've sent plenty of applications out, but a common response...
"Thank you, but you're not qualified" 
Getting harder and harder to keep my head up, but I know there is always a reason. 
9 months ago before my accident, the opportunity was there... 
What could've been. 
But I will remain positive & optimistic, that this is all a part of HIS plan for me. 
Whatever it is and whatever it may be, I will never give up nor will I doubt Him. 
Jesus always has the answer & all I have to do is have an open heart and commit. 
I'm ready for whatever the journey will be. 
Stay focused & always remember I will do NOTHING on my own... 
But through HIM I can do all things. 
Head up.

Monday, December 6, 2010

one "box" at a time.

Always been a fan of boxing. Intrigued by the training and dedication these fighters go through. I hear it's one of the BEST workouts you could possibly have. Will it be for me? Only time will tell. Goodnight, looking forward to tomorrow.

What I'm thinking.

Live life the right way...don't create shortcuts...good things will come to those who remain patient and stay focused.

Whatever it takes...

.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Morning Coffee.

Dear Coffee, 
Will you help me w/ my goal & this challenge?
You taste so good, and I've missed you! 
Along w/ your friend "hot green tea"...I will turn to you both. 
Thank you. 

Sincerely, 
Russy