R&R

Sometimes when the body is telling you to rest more, you gotta listen. No matter how determined I am to get healthy and in shape, it was a HORRIBLE idea to go to the gym for as long as I did yesterday. 

So thankful for the weekend. Rest time :)

Friendly reminder.

"Every time you cheat, you're cheating yourself. Every time you think you're depriving yourself, you're depriving your greatness of what you could be."

In God's Hands.

Today, was a stressful day. 

I had my first nursing interview (post graduation and passing of my boards), and I absolutely had no idea what to expect. Sure I practiced, but it sure wasn't like the real thing. 

The Lord truly blessed me w/ so many things today, and I know He was watching over me. From easing the start of my day w/ prayer w/ my mom, to seeing Uncle Dan in the elevator, to running into people I knew from the floor to make me comfortable, and getting the people I got to interview me. The manager, being so genuinely nice, the HR guy who could've been someone I went to church w/, and lastly having my 2 preceptors a part of the process. 

Jesus know how to work in our lives. Whether it's small, or in this case BIG, he knows how to make himself known in any given situation. Do I get the job or not? I don't know, but all I know is that Jesus was there w/ me and will continue to be there for me every single step of the way. I'm thankful to have a God that shines in so many ways and all I can do now, and what I should always do, is leave it in His hands. In His hands is where it's best and where whatever the outcome may be, whether it's His plan or not, I will follow and trust that He has the perfect situation for me. 

Thank you Lord for being by my side today. I love you so much and am looking forward to that day when you come back and take us home. :)

Please be with me Lord.

I know you will. 

Hair cuts.

I absolutely hate haircuts, especially when I've been growing it for almost a year. 

I told myself, when I get an interview I will cut it, and I'm sticking to my word. 

Hope it turns out good. We'll see. 

But as far as the myth, I'm only in shape when my hair is long. 

Won't be the case, I'm changing as we speak and it's up hill from here. 

Well, bout to get a cut in an hour...

Goodbye hair. you've been good to me, but annoying at the same time.

*sigh* :) 

On my knees tonight.

Dear Heavenly Father, 

Lord, grant me the peace during this stressful time. I need you more than ever. Naturally, I'm an anxious person. But I need to constantly be reminded, that as long as we trust in You, everything will fall into place. I can only do some much, and the things I cannot control, I leave them up to you Lord. Forgive me for ever doubting you and even myself, because You have ALWAYS been by my side. If I doubt myself, I am doubting you. The next few days are big for me, and Lord I leave it all in your hands. Whatever your plan is, I am here to follow. Good night Father, see you in the morning, bright and early, ready for a new day and for what's ahead. 

Love always, 

Russy

New way to deal w/ stress.

I will admit, I am an emotional eater. Happy or sad, food is comfort. Food brings people together, and food will ease the pain when something in your life isn't going right. Food doesn't talk back to you, it just makes you feel better. It doesn't complain of the things you don't do for it, it just says "grab me and put me in your mouth, you'll feel better". Food satisfies your deepest emotions, you crave and crave until you end up giving in and breaking so much more than that craving. Food is man's best friend, it simply just tastes good. 

I've been turning to food to deal w/ all types of stress: school, relationships, etc...and also have been using it to celebrate the happy times. I'm tired of using food as an emotional tamer, because it should never be about that. I've been on the journey for nearly two months now and I have lost 30 pounds. Being that I did it during the peak of the holiday season, I have to give myself a couple pats in the back.

In the past few weekends, I've noticed that I've cheated a little more than I'd like to. Sure it came w/ special occasions such as birthdays, engagements, family gatherings, but I could have definitely made better choices on the foods I ate and the amount. Nobody is perfect, but you can control whatever goes into your body. 

Today, I chose to go to the gym. I handled my stress a different way, and it felt good. It felt good to release some stress by sweating up a storm and lifting weights off my shoulders (literally). I'm scared I'm going to waste the past 2 months of work, for a couple weeks of pleasure. I think the hardest part about weight loss is maintaining it and being consistent w/ everything you've done right. It's so easy to go back into your old ways, and for that I'm scared. Back when I was at my most fit, people would ask me, what is your biggest fear. My answer was the same over and over again, "I'm scared of getting fat again". 

My biggest fear came true, and lots more. The stresses of being a nursing student, strained relationships, and also plenty of celebrations...took a toll on my body. I neglected my health and instead turned to 15 minutes of pleasure for years that I could be taking off my life. It's never easy to just put that piece of pizza or burger down, or stay away from soda. It's definitely a conscious effort to live a healthy lifestyle. This blog has helped me keep myself accountable, and it's a great place to just jot my thoughts and feelings. Because usually I would be searching the cupboards and fridge for something to snack on. 

My biggest fear is still that and the same. I never want to wear a 40+ size again. I never want to shop around the double and triple X's. I never want to feel like everyone is looking at me, and I never want to have my emotional eating take control of me. This is all new to me again, but I'm definitely willing to do whatever it takes. Today was the first step...healthy choices w/ food...and hitting the gym and instead of chomping on those chips and fries. 

This is my "new way" to "deal w/ stress". I've come this far, it's only going to get better, I promise you.