OS moment.

Woke up this morning, knowing I'd be scared to step on this scale, (being that it's actually been awhile since I've even stepped on it) and totally had an "OS" (oh sh!t) moment. 

Getting back up to 200lbs is somewhere I don't even wanna touch. Something I am NEVER wanting to ever do in my life, and shall I say I was very close. I've probably been the most unhealthy eater the past 2 or 3 weeks, which as you all may know, a lot can be gained in that amount of time. I step on the scale and it read: 196.4.

OH SH!T! 

Definitely not a good feeling. I've been going to the gym, but eating equally as bad and definitely large portions. I deserved the number on the scale and definitely needed to see that in order to change for real. All this talk about "doing it" "now or never" "let's do this", well...w/out seeing something like this and having an OS moment, the urgency just won't be there. 

And after having this moment. It's definitely there. I'm disappointed in myself for letting myself gained close to 10 pounds back, but there's nothing I can do about it. I've been my worst fear and that is to revert in to my old style of living, and let me tell you this right now...THIS IS IT. I'm not letting myself get back to anywhere close to 200. I'm heavy as it is right now, and I'm gonna stop being a dumb@ss and get HEALTHY! 

Time to be BORING and do it and do it the right way.