2010.

2010 has got to be one of the most interesting years I have ever had in my life. It's pushed me in a lot of ways, whether it has been physical, mental, spiritual or what ever way, it's definitely been a year I will always remember. 

This year definitely had many ups and a lot of unforgettable lows. From the births of new family members, to lives that have passed I will continue to remember. To many emotional and mental disputes as to whether I can and am able to complete tasks, I have been challenged in 2010. I am always thankful and grateful for these obstacles that are presented in my life, because I have always looked at it as a time to grow and learn how I can be a better, stronger, more wise and a warrior for God all together.

Although I tend to dislike the low points in my life, I am always intrigued as to how, when or even if I am going to get through it. Sometimes we rise to the occasion and sometimes we fall short of that finish line. But to me, it's always a matter of how we can push ourselves to our limit, and if we fall trying...then you can't be disappointed in your efforts. I've fallen short on many occasions, but the Lord always seems to open another door, maybe a better door...or maybe something that you didn't like, but in the end, you understand why that particular door opened. Jesus is by far the greatest, most quiet, but most pronounced motivator we have. If you listen closely, you'll see, hear or feel the signs so clearly that you won't even have to think twice about what you're doing.  

2010 Challenges:

Some of the challenges I had this year have been: the loss of Manong Ken, motivating myself to study for my board exams (failing), being in the hospital w/ a multiple brain bleeds after a hitting my head, weight loss, and being unemployed to name a few. These challenges have been some of the lowest times in my life.
When I lost my dear friend Ken, by far, next to losing my Lola, this is the biggest loss I have ever had to endure in my life. Sure I've lost some aunties and uncles in the past, but in elementary school you just don't understand the true impact of a person so close to you. I wasn't able to sleep for numerous nights, tossing and turning wondering why? why did it have to be him? he was such an inspiring person who always lived his life the right way and cared so much about others, that he sometimes would neglect giving time for himself. I miss my brother so dearly and I can't wait till the day I can just give him the biggest hug up in heaven.
Board exams. When I failed for the first time, I wondered if I was ever going to pass. I had a job lined up and all I needed to do was pass those exams and I was set. Little did I know that I had many challenges that would spiral from not passing. I didn't let it get me down, because I knew that I could put more work and effort into studying. It gave me the motivation to push harder and stronger. After not passing, only a few weeks later...
I hit my head after taking some detox tea. I've never been in the hospital before, and after this experience I definitely don't want to go there again. I've never felt so much pain, so much stress, so much fear, so much anxiety, so much disappointed, so much LOVE and PRAYER...ever in my life. This was definitely a low point, that turned into a high. A situation and experience that I can share to the world that God does exist and that he's watching out for us. 

The ups: 

From getting better physically after my accident, to graduation, to passing my boards, losing weight, and all the love from my family, this year is something I will always cherish. 

My accident showed me who in my life would always be there, through the toughest times. From my parents of course, brother, and Jenny...I had my closest brothers (Ken, Josh, Jordan, Justin, Uncle Garry) to name few who were there that night that I hit my head. They came out of no where to offer me a prayer and to give me love and support that I needed at that time. I will always have these guys as my brothers and I appreciate everything you all have done for me. period. 

Passing my boards has got to be one of the highlights of my life. The day seemed so long and so far out of reach, but it came on September 9th, 2010. *sigh*, such a great feeling. 

Losing weight, I'm in the process of doing it and almost completing my goal for the new year. my goal was to be below 200, I'm at 205 (5 pounds short) but I had to treat myself during Christmas right? :) After 22 days of not cheating, I deserved it. This month I've lost 21 pounds and I'm still going strong. I'm positive 2011 will show great things as to how much I can push my body. and I'm ready. 

I love my family, my friends and everyone in between. This year has shown me what true love is and how I can pay it forward. From agonizing hours spent challenging myself to study for my board exams and from failure to success, all in a matter of months...to diving into the "raw" lifestyle, back to a high protein-6 meals/day diet...to accidents and get-wells...I'm ready to dive into 2011 w/ a positive attitude and a never-give up mentality that LOVES, CHERISHES, and SAVORS every moment that is given. I'm thankful for all of you who have made this year amazing. I have so much to be thankful for and so much to give back. As the new year approaches and is only a few hours away, my prayer today is this:
 

Dear Jesus, 

May you shine your light in our lives. May you give us hope and show us your way, so that we don't and never have to walk this walk alone, but because of you we can do all things. Help us to Trust in you and to never lose sight of the love and promise you have offered us. Thank you father for dying on that cross for us, so that we may have the gift of eternal life. Bless the world and our leaders, bless those who are in need, may this new year give them a breath of fresh air and may they never give up on you. Help us to understand the challenges we are going to face, and always be thankful and praise You and nobody else for the successes we are going to face. Forgive us father from the sins we've committed and for all of our short comings. Thank you Father for always watching over us and for never giving up on us. I ask these things Lord, in your name. 

Blessings to all. Lots of Love, Laughter and Smiles.
Always, 

Russy

Keep fighting.

"Victory is always possible for the person who refuses to stop fighting" - Napoleon Hill

Tire out!

If you think your body can't take any more...keep pushing it until you throw up. 2nd workout of the day, here we go.

Resolutions.

1. No Fast Food 

2. No Soda 

3. Gym at least 2-3 times/week 

I'm going to limit my "health" new years resolutions to 3. I've always made large lists in the past, but these are simple and achievable. No fast food. No Soda (even diet). and as much as I wanna put going to the gym up to 4-5x a week, 2-3 is doable. 2011, I expect big things from you. 2010 was good to me, but 11 will be something I'll always look back and say, I did it. 

Iron Mike.

About running at 4am - 

"Nobody wants to get up and run at 4 in the morning when it's pitch dark, but it has to be done. The only reason I do it so early is because I believe the other guy isn't doing it, and it's giving me an edge. The hardest part is the training, believe it or not, the easiest part is the fight" - Mike Tyson 

3 day cheating...

Got it out of my system. What was suppose to be a 1 meal cheat, turned out to be a whole weekend. It is what it is. The holidays is about spending time w/ family, and some of that time has food included. I'm not gonna let it get me down, although I feel disgusting from all the unhealthy food I've eaten, It's time to get back to work and take care of business. No more. No more. No more. I won't have another "cheat meal" until the 1st of February. I will not regress like I have in the past. It's time to continue what I've started and begin the new year w/ a bang. I'm ready. Let's go (again).

The Holidays. Sauna. Wheel Chair buddy. Afraid.

The Holidays: 

We're right in the gist of the holiday season. Christmas is right around the corner, and it's I'm so blessed that I have wonderful parents, brother, girlfriend, dog (rocky), and extended family to spend it with. Although I'm extremely broke, I was able to buy everyone a present this year. Most importantly, the most important gift to give is, LOVE. The whole reason for the season, is that just that. Love. Christ came down as a baby as a gift of love from God, so that He may die for our sins. It's crazy that for most, the first thing that comes to mind are, what presents to give, what decorations to put around the house, or where to go and what to do to have fun and relax during this season. But what should come to mind is the story of Jesus and Him coming down as our gift to have life w/ Jesus. This season, I have so many things to be thankful for and to give the Lord praise. Praise for my life and health after a life threatening accident. Praise that I have passed my boards. Even though I'm still unemployed, praise that I can take this time to relax and be stress free for once (a hidden blessing). Praise that my parents are in good health and that they are working, unlike many other Americans out there who are struggle w/ the recession. Praise that my brother is performing and doing what he loves, and finishing up school. Praise that I have a beautiful girlfriend who loves, cares and is there for me though everything and anything. Just SO much to praise the Lord for. This is what the holiday season is about. 

The Sauna: 

I've been going to the Drayson Center for almost 10 years and I have never stepped foot in the sauna. One day I decided to give it a go...this has now become one of the things that I look forward to when going to the gym. The benefits that the sauna can have on our bodies and minds are astounding. I've gained so much relaxation from it and I will definitely continue using it. It's also a place where old men gather together and share stories, laughs and all sorts of "old men stuff". haha. It's great just chattin' and getting to know these guys. I absolutely LOVE the sauna.

Wheel Chair Buddy: 

I met this man in the sauna a couple days ago. A man in his 30's who was in a wheel chair. He came into the sauna and we just started talking. I didn't want to bother and ask him about why he was in a wheel chair, but the whole time I was talking to him, I was just so amazed how this guy didn't let being in a chair keep him from doing certain things in life. I could only imagine how hard it is, and it made me think, how selfish I was for disregarding my health and abusing my body w/ foods and not going to the gym, when I had 2 feet that could walk, hands that could move and almost perfectly healthy I was, and to treat it like I did. I mean, I don't and have never used drugs before, but food is pretty much a drug that can kill you. From this point on I vow to never give excuses why I'm not eating right and working out. It's going to be a part of my life and I'm going to always be thankful that God gave me the health that I have, so I may use it for him always. I have so much respect for those individuals who have handicaps, but honestly they don't have a handicap...we (those who sit on their ass everyday and eat junk) are the ones who are creating a handicap for our lives. All the respect to those who have disabilities. Hope I see my wheel chair buddy again, such a blessing. 

Afraid:
21 days to break a habit. 20 days of being good. Christmas is tomorrow and it's 1 less day of breaking that habit. To "cheat" or not to cheat. I've ate healthy, gone to the gym or worked out everyday...I'm I ready to have a cheat "meal"??? I'm honestly afraid, but it's the holidays, and you can't be afraid to treat yourself. Everything in moderation right? I won't revert, but it's a scary feeling, knowing how I was just a month ago w/ my eating, and what I have become in just a short period of time. It's something I want to continue, and something I'm going to continue. Need not be afraid Russell Ivan, you've got this.

I will NEVER let myself get this big again. EVER.

Me @ 230+ pounds. Enough said. Stay motivated & focused. 

Bring back the old me.

It feels SO good to be on point. Diet is on point. Working out is on point. Everything is going as planned. I never thought I'd get this mentality back. I thought I left the "old" Russy, behind. The one who would go to the gym for 3 hours, and still want to go back for more. It's a great feeling to have this back as a big part of my life. I only have the Lord to thank for this, and nobody else. Sure my friends are an AMAZING part in helping me achieve this, but God has definitely put the energy back into my life. It's been a struggle not knowing and not having a job yet. My self esteem is definitely down, but I'm never going to give up. I never have, and I never will. Being this motivated into getting back into shape and making it a part of my life, has helped me realize that anything is possible if you put the effort in. I'm blessed to have 2 feet to walk, 2 hands to use, Eyes to see, Nose to smell, Ears to listen, a heart that beats...you get the point. God has given me a body that is capable of many things. A body that can serve Him and spread His love throughout the world. For the last 2 or 3 years, I was lethargic. All I thought about was where I wanted to eat and didn't take care of my body. I still love food, and I always will. But I can't let food be the drug that kills me. I control my own destiny, and I'm ready to maximize the potential that Jesus has envisioned. I'm making small steps into being the person that I once was. Motivated to live healthy. Thank you Jesus for everything. I love you.

Hungry.

In the midst of this journey I'm taking, I find myself facing a battle of self control. A few years back, it was second nature to say "no thank you" and not eat foods I knew weren't good for me, and even be so extreme that I would say no to foods that weren't that bad. I'm still getting accustomed to this process, and even though I find my self hungry, I'm getting use to it. Along w/ the physical hungry comes emotional struggles. I believe that eating satisfies physical needs as much as (or more) it plays an important role to our emotional needs. Maybe that's why I gained so much weight? Maybe. I've gone 17-18 days w/out a cheat meal or day, and I'm getting to the point where it's becoming more of a routine then it is a struggle. I won't lie that it's getting pretty challenging, especially when my workouts are being intense, or when my friends go out and eat good food. But, it's what I have to do. It's what worked before, and what will get me to where I want to be. I love food, but I love my health more and I'm gonna do whatever it takes to get there. All for the end.

I LOVE HER!

New York Knicks.

The excitement is back! I itch to work out and crave to eat right. I even did 2 workouts today, and my initial thoughts were that my 2nd workout would be LAME, but it turned out the opposite. I feel like the New York Knicks! Everyone is talking about how good they're getting and how long it's taken. The energy is back in the building, and it feels just like that. I have a renewed passion for going to the gym and sneaking in a lot of boxing. I know it's going to take some time to get back into shape...it always does. But I feel as if I'm turning corners I've never turned in a long while. I haven't cheated on my diet for 15 days and usually I'll quit by day 5 or 6, but this time I want to keep the momentum going. Ama're Stoudemire of the Knicks took a horrible team and created a positive atmosphere. All it takes is positivity and work to make something better. You've got to have the right mind set and the work ethic to get things done. I never thought I would ever say this, but I want to be like the New York Knicks. I want to prove the doubters wrong, and take a something that's been bad and make it good again. I can't wait till my next work out and my next meal that'll get me to where I want to be. If I can do it through the holidays, I'm convinced that I can do anything. This is it, the turning point. I've got 2 bets going on, and I hate losing. This is it. Gotta love life, because God has given a life that has only loved me. 

P.s. So thankful for the weekend. Rest is BEAUTIFUL!

Doing work!

I lost 10 pounds this week, well almost...9.4!

You have no idea how much this means to me.

I've worked my ass off, put in the work, and it shows.

Never really been THIS motivated in a long time, it took a bet to get me this revved up!

This will continue, cause like I said...I'm gonna run through the wall!

Looking forward to next friday! Scale time!!

Gotta go get it.

I've said it many times before. Nothing comes easy in life. You gotta take what's out there and go get it. If you like something, chase it. Run after it, take it by the shoulders and pull it to the ground and make it yours. If you really want something, you've got to be passionate about it and do everything it takes to get it in your hands. My mentality has change, and I'm really hungry and I want it bad. I don't want to climb over the walls anymore, I wanna just run right through it, and that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna go get what I've said I've wanted to accomplish these past 2 years. I won't let it slip through my fingers again, because I'm running as fast as I can and I'm gonna hold on to it. This is mine to take, and only my will and determination will get me there. I know what to do. I've done it before. I'm gonna prove the world, that anything is possible if you believe in yourself and fight. 

The right mind set.

This is what I had for my "cheat meal" for the week.
Plain turkey and mustard sandwich, on whole grain bread. 

If I feel guilty eating this, then I must be getting the "right mind set back". 

Before, I use to feel bad about every little carb that went into my body.

I know how to lose weight, and I'm gonna do whatever it takes to get there 

Biggest Loser.

You are an inspiration. 

You prove each time, that nothing is impossible. 

You remind us, that life is all about second chances. 

You will get me through this.

No excuses. Exhausted, but ready for more.

Secret Weapon.

Lovin' every minute.

This journey feels different. I'm honestly excited. I've always been one of those people who always try and do things on their own, especially when it comes to working out. It's just easier. But I've found that having people close to you that want you to succeed in your goals, are so much more fulfilling. Mikey, Josh and Ken...You 3 have inspired me. Inspired me and have built this energy that I cannot seem to stop smiling about. I'm fortunate to have you all as my friends. We've grown up together and it just feels right to see all of us pushing each other and sharing the sweat and pain (maybe not the blood yet) together. For once in such a long time, I feel like I can achieve this. Deep down inside, I feel so embarrassed and ashamed that I let myself go this much...but it's never too late to change. I've never felt, not once, that I'll screw up again this time, because you 3 have been the backbone and I know you'll always believe in me. To make it short and sweet: I'm having fun. I'm loving every minute. and I look to share so much more w/ you all in this journey. Let's go.

Samson?

I believe hair has hidden powers. 

For Samson, it was his strength.
Am I the same way?
If I grow it out again, will I harness that strength back? 

Feels like it.

Ron Artest.

Such a strange man, but a man w/ many words. 

"I always follow my plan 100 percent, even if I know I'm going to fail."

"I know I'm going to make bad decisions in basketball. I know I'm going to probably get knocked out boxing. I might break an elbow playing football. But without pain, there's no pleasure. Without failing, there's no success. I'm a perfectionist who's not perfect"

"I overtrained swimming this week," he said on the way to the game. "So I'm going to be really tired tonight. Which is kinda how I like it."

"I can be too strong for some small forwards, so they don't want to go at me, so I get bored. So sometimes I overtrain on purpose before a game just to see if I can lock a guy down with only half my energy."

"Because once I get into that gym, that ball is like a drug. When you see that ball go into the basket, that's like one of the best drugs ever. I'm addicted, and I hope the state of California illegalizes it."

One day at a time.

I'm notorious for setting HUGE goals. 
Some of which people would LAUGH at. 
I also CHERISH the opportunity to prove doubting people otherwise. 
Showing them that I have what it takes...just allow me the chance to prove you wrong. 
This NEVER GIVE UP mentality has always been a strong attribute I hold strong. 
It's gotten me places I would've never imagined. 
Helped me achieve GOALS that only belief could muster. 
My approach will be DIFFERENT. 
Large goals are great...
but when I've learned that it can also set you up for disappointment and eventually FAILURE. 
Thus, one day at a time. 
Each MORNING is a new morning, and begins with the rising of the sun. 
Each AFTERNOON the sun shifts and by NIGHT the sun has been overtaken by the moon. 
Every hour is precious, and so are every minute and seconds that tick by. 
I WILL NOT waste any more time of my precious life. 
There is SO MUCH BEAUTY in the world, but also beauty I CAN GIVE to the world. 
I've been placed here for a special reason, and whatever reason that may be, I will try my BEST to live up to what the Lord wants out of me. One day at a time. I won't waste it. 
This is me, a new me. 
New Years resolutions usually falter, but this won't be a resolution, but a commitment to CHANGE my life. 
To make good things great, and to make greater things even more great. I always say, Live the life you love and love the life you live.

Tears.

Sometimes you just can't help but cry. 

I sit here and understand that there's a meaning behind each tear. 

Good to get it out.
Doing this for us and what I have to look forward to. 

Head up.

Who would've thought finding a job would be so hard? 

Isn't this why I went into this field?
The saying "you won't regret it" or "there will always be a job"...

Is definitely NOT true. 

I've sent plenty of applications out, but a common response...

"Thank you, but you're not qualified" 

Getting harder and harder to keep my head up, but I know there is always a reason. 

9 months ago before my accident, the opportunity was there... 

What could've been. 

But I will remain positive & optimistic, that this is all a part of HIS plan for me. 

Whatever it is and whatever it may be, I will never give up nor will I doubt Him. 

Jesus always has the answer & all I have to do is have an open heart and commit. 

I'm ready for whatever the journey will be. 

Stay focused & always remember I will do NOTHING on my own... 

But through HIM I can do all things. 

Head up.

one "box" at a time.

Always been a fan of boxing. Intrigued by the training and dedication these fighters go through. I hear it's one of the BEST workouts you could possibly have. Will it be for me? Only time will tell. Goodnight, looking forward to tomorrow.

What I'm thinking.

Live life the right way...don't create shortcuts...good things will come to those who remain patient and stay focused.

Whatever it takes...

.

Green Juice Comback?

YES!

Morning Coffee.

Dear Coffee, 

Will you help me w/ my goal & this challenge?
You taste so good, and I've missed you! 

Along w/ your friend "hot green tea"...I will turn to you both. 

Thank you. 

Sincerely, 

Russy

Training my brain & my muscles.

Here we go again... 

I'm retraining my entire body to get use to the grind of working out. 

Stepping on the elyptical and riding that bike was shocking today. 

10 minutes in and I was all ready feeling it. 

This is going to be a long journey, but I'm ready for the pain. 

The sweat is worth it.
2 days in, and I'm encouraged by the progress.
I can't and won't expect me to jump right in and be my old self. 

Gotta start from the beginning and build. 

Building is the most important thing right now. 

I'm going to keep in mind...you need to build a foundation. 

Nobody builds a house in one day (well maybe).
But how long will that house sustain, probably not long. 

I'm ready to build from the ground up. 

I'm looking forward to the challenges and facing it w/ the people around me. 

There's going to be some blood sweat and tears...and that's the beauty of this journey. 

Looking forward to going to the gym tomorrow!
LET'S GO! 

Side Note: 

First day back at Drayson Center (for the first time in a LONG time).
It feels good to be back, but might I say...I miss 24.
Something about not knowing anybody at the gym that keeps you going. 

But coming back here definitely brings a lot of memories. 

and if there's a place to start...might as well go back to the place where I did it before!

First Jog.

Beat the cold weather. 

Using all the motivation and inspiration that I can. 

Day one, almost complete. 

I want to transform my body from the inside out.
Getting ready mentally is a whole lot more tough than getting ready physically. 

The recurring statement "My body has taken too much abuse over the past few years"... 

...is even so much more meaningful than ever. 

First jog out of many, out of the way. 

I'm ready for tomorrow. 

Let's go. 

Bringing it back.

No slacking off. 

The gym will be my new home.

& I will do whatever it takes to get this back.

It's time to STFU and do it. 

Motivation.

Best motivational speech ever: 


I don't know what to say really.
Three mintues till the biggest battle of our professional lives, all comes down to today
Either we heal as a team, or we're gonna crumble.
Inch by inch, play by play til we're finished, we're in hell right now gentlemen, believe me.
And we can stay here, get the shit kicked out of us, or we can fight our way back into the light.
We can climb out of hell, one inch at a time
You know when you get old in life, things get taken from you.
That's part of life, but you only learn that when you start losing stuff.
You find out, life is this game of inches
The margin for error is so small.
I mean, one half a step to late or too early, and you don't quite make it.
One half second to slow to fast you don't quite catch it.
The inches we need are everywhere around us
There in every break of the game, every minute, every second
On this team, we fight for that inch
On this team, we tear ourselves and everyone else around us into pieces for that inch. 
We claw w/ our finger nails for that inch
Because we know, when we add up all those inches, that's gonna make the f*cking difference.
Between winning and losing, between living and dying
I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy who's willing to die who's gonna win that inch.
And either we heal now as a team, or we will die as individuals
That's all it is. 
Now, what are you gonna do?

- Unknown Author

6 month challenge: the beginning

It's on.
Day #1 is tomorrow. 
Contracts are signed.
Money is on the line. 
I'm ready to go. He's ready to go. 
Let's duke it out. 
Gonna do whatever it takes to get back to the top. 
No more bull sh!t excuses. 
Just complete and utter commitment/determination.
Forget the past. This is now.

BST.TLF
Russy 




Magic number: 175

Afraid to go to sleep...

Ever since my accident, I've had random dizzy spells. 

Still trying to figure out what it is. 

Sometimes I'd rather stay up then go to sleep, not knowing if I'll be dizzy in the morning. 

It's hard when you don't have control over your own body sometimes. 

I guess until I figure it out, I'll have to live w/ it. 

*sigh* I miss when sleeping wasn't so scary. 

Ready...get set...go...

The past 3 weeks have been CRAZY! (read my last 2 blogs) 

It's time to get back on track w/ being healthy and working out. 

I can't set the highs of passing boards & going to Florida get me off track. 

Jenny always motivates me to keep going... 

It's really crazy how being good for one month and so motivated, can turn around so quick. 

I lost 17lbs last month, and in 3 weeks was really up and down and have maintained...
I have 2 weeks to reach the goal I set for month 2. 

Life happens. Eating bad happens. and not working out happens.

But it doesn't have to be like that. 

We hit walls, but the people who succeed are those who pick themselves up & keep going. 

I am not going to fall back into what I was like before. 

I'm gonna do whatever it takes to get back to being healthy. 

Phase 1 was hard, but Phase 2 is going to be even harder. 

Ready...Get Set...Go... 

Live. Love. Be Healthy. 

Always,

Russy 

- Thank you Jenny for always believing me & for pushing me, even when I don't wanna hear it. You're always someone I can count on to tell me what I need to do. Let's do this together!

So thankful (part 2). - Florida & Music

Tampa, FL. 

I've always wanted to go to Florida, and I finally got my chance to go! 

I have a new found love for this stage and the city of Tampa because of this trip. 

About a week ago, I was fortunate enough to fly out to Tampa, FL to perform at the University of South Florida. 

I've only flown out a few times in my life to do shows or weddings out side of California. 

And every time, I feel lucky and thankful for the opportunity. 

After boards, I needed a weekend to just get away from home, and this was the perfect opportunity. 

I was pretty exhausted even before the trip, trying to finish up the EP that I would be bringing w/ me to the show. 

The trip started off waking up at 4am w/ Jenny bringing me to the airport for my flight at 6am. 

Two layovers in FEEEEEENIX (Phoenix) and Houston, then finally to Tampa. 

It was definitely a tiring 12 hours of traveling, but definitely worth every minute of it. 

As I arrived in Tampa, I was welcomed by an empty airport at 730pm. 

Finally my buddy, Jon Cardona greeted me with so much love & enthusiasm, felt like I knew the guy for years! 

We chilled and met up w/ some friends (Aemberly & Risha), cool people!! 

Got some grub at "Taco Bus" and was off to crash at Kyla's parents house for the night. 

The drive there was hilarious! w/ scary stories about the Lumas...we got lost in the forrest too! haha 

We finally got to her house and CRRRRASHED. I don't think I've ever knocked out on a couch like that, ever. 

The following day was all about prepping for the show, practicing and getting ready. 

After a good mornings worth of practice, we went out to lunch at "Cosi's" sandwich spot. Amazing food! 

I mean, for those who know me, I could live off sandwiches and chips all my life!! Totally hit the spot!! :) 

We finally made our way to the school, did all of our sound checks and what not and just chilled for a couple hours. 

The crowd was pretty awesome, about 500 people showed up, but by the time I performed the crowd dissipated to the after party. haha. 

No worries, because the crowd that was there...was amazing! I felt the love from you all and I'm super thankful for each one of you! :) 

The show ended at around 11:30pm, and we were all spent, but Jon and I had this idea to head over to Orlando (which was an hour and a half away, haha). 

The trip was craaazy! We went to this ghetto wal-mart w/ no tax was alot of people from the opposite team. haha. 

Scary stuff! Gangsta stuff! definitely Legit :)
Oh we stopped by this Cuban restaurant, don't remember what its called, but it was AMAZING! 

I could probably eat 10 of those beef empanadas! I'm drooling just typing this right now!!!! 

After attempting to go to Disneyworld and chillin' at the parking lots, haha, we headed over to meet up w/ some of Jon's friends. 

Met some more amazing people (Jeremy, Lora, Lizzy & Alvin!) We had a blast taking pictures and just chattin' it up. 

Definitely good times. 

After a long drive back, we all crashed at Alvin's place...and waited for the next morning. 

We woke up and hit this BBQ that was happening w/ all the asian clubs from the banquet. 

Let me tell you...there were like dragon flies and other bugs hovering that would've scared large men! 

Met some more good people and then ended the trip off at this tea place where they brewed some WEIRD teas... 

After another eventful day, Jon dropped me off and I said goodbye to good ole' Florida.
The trip home had lots of reflecting on life and the past month of stress and accomplishments. 

I needed this trip (even though it was short) to just relax and get away from the stresses of studying. 

But when I my plane landed and I was greeted by Rocky & Jenny...I was reminded why I LOVE California and being at home. 

Florida now has a special place in my heart, and I love the people and time I spent there...
But there's really nothing like being at home :)

Jesus has truly blessed me w/ the gift of music.
It's something that I want to continue to use in a positive way, to change others and make a difference. 

I'm lucky to have been able to travel to these places to share my music. 

I am also always thankful and appreciative to the people who take the time to listen to me. 

and Florida, you didn't disappoint. You made me reminded me why I LOVE to do music. 

Music is a way of bringing people together, meeting new friends and making long lasting friendships. 

Jon Cardona is one of those people I am truly thankful for and feel that God put in my life for a reason. 

Not only did he make my trip to Florida one to remember, but is a friend that I know I can keep for years. 

Thanks pare for taking the time out of your schedule to come, chill, and sing w/ me. 

WASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUF POR DAT!!! 

Music is strong. It will sometimes speak louder than words. 

It keeps people together and gets others through tough times. 

It continues to be a way people can express themselves and journal their lives. 

Music is something I will always be thankful for, because it continues to drive me. 

Florida, you have given me memories I will cherish and keep, always. 

Tampa (USF), you have some amazing people who welcomed me and opened their homes. 

I will always be thankful for you :)
I love you all, and one day I'll be back!
Much love. 

Live. Love. Be healthy. 

Always, 

Russy

So thankful (part 1).

It's been quite a long time since I've last blogged, and it just feels good to write on a blank slate again. 

First things first, I want to praise & thank my Lord and Savior for giving me so many blessings. 

Blessings that I'm unworthy of, but will gracious accept, and continue to work on my end of the bargain. 

The Lord is truly good and I am just truly blessed. 

*sigh* I have so much to say and be thankful for and I guess I'll just start right off the bat w/ the most important:

NCLEX exam:

        As many of you know, as I've previously written, this test has been weighing on my shoulders the past year. 

This is the last hurdle and what culminates the previous 2-3 years of every nursing students life. 

The test that many fear like a ghost and lose countless hours of sleep over, knowing the uncertainty of their fate. 

I will openly admit that I failed on my first attempt and that it was one of my most discouraging times in my life. 

Nursing school never came easy to me, and I had to work probably 10x harder than any of my classmates. 

I envied those who would study the night or two before an exam, and get A's, while I studied for weeks and barely get by. 

Failing was never something I had experienced until I got to college, and it's something I continue to fear. 

Taking it the first time, and losing out on the job I wanted and was offered to me, was like a kick in the stomach. 

But I knew deep down inside, that this was and may not be the plan that Jesus wanted me to take. 

I covered up my discouragement w/ jokes and also staying at home so I wouldn't have to face questions from people. 

People might think, Russy probably doesn't even try, or that I'm not putting my whole heart into it. 

They always say "who cares what other people think", but to be honest...I care.
I've always cared what my family and friends think of me, and knowing that I failed them is what hurt me the most. 

This time around, I vowed that I would block out all the distractions in my life and just do it. 

No more excuses. No more feeling sorry for myself. Just go put my full effort into my studies and let God take care of it. 

After graduation, I relaxed for about a month knowing that I was gonna need all the energy that I could possibly muster. 

So starting the beginning of July, I lived at the Library & spent countless hours doing question at home. 

I was so fatigued from studying and the date of my boards were approaching. 

Let me say this...the Lord truly brought me through all the trying times throughout this journey. 

There was absolutely NO way I could've done this by myself or know everything, but he guided me in the right direction. 

September 8th, 2010. 

It was test day, and this time I scheduled it in Anaheim instead of Ontario. Mainly because Ontario didn't have openings. 

The night before the exam was like the first...anxious and nervous as I could be. 

I tossed & turned, probably getting less than 4 hours of sleep. 

I woke up, got straight on my knees in prayer to the Lord, and asked for his guidance and blessing. 

And was greeting w/ a delicious breakfast my mom prepared for me, hoping it would sustain me throughout the test. 

After breakfast, I hopped into the shower, got dressed in my basketball shorts, nike frees, long sleeve thermal & headband. 

Said my last prayer before leaving the house and departed to Anaheim (which is about an hour from my house). 

I got to my site about 2 hours early, and sat in my car reading up on my meds, cranial nerves, and all sorts of other things. 

Right before my test, I was greeted by my love (Jenny), and it helped calm my nerves (a little, haha). 

We said a long prayer together, asking again for the Lord to guide me and no matter the result, I will continue to trust His plan, whether it be that I pass or fail. I'm going to lean on Him and know that He has it under control. 

At approximately 1:15pm, I made my way through the doors of the pearson vue building. 

They did the whole ordeal of finger prints, sign-in, and let me read the rules and regulations of the test. 

My test was scheduled at 2pm, but they said "if you're ready, we'll take you in right now!" 

A burst of unwanted nerves made their way through my entire body, and I told them "Can I use the restroom real quick?" 

The first thing I did when I walked into the bathroom was pray! 

My prayer was simple. "Lord, I need you right now, in every way possible. Thank you for going through this journey with me, and no matter what the result, I will continue to trust You always". 

Walking through the familiar cubicles of antsy test takers, was something I will always remember. 

and to my desk I go. I was assigned to cubicle #3. I thought to myself...Lucky #3? 

Question 1 begins...after about 40 questions, I felt good about this test! To this point I got about 14 multiple/multiples... 

&& and that was very reassuring sign. 

Fast forward to 2 1/2 hours into the test...I really needed to pee...and I took my first break and last. (130+ questions in) 

After my break, I made my way back to my seat and proceeded w/ the test. 

about 4 1/2 hours in I was at question number 200...maximum amount of questions...265. 

Reaching that 265 mark was my biggest fear about this test and not having the amount of stamina to go through it all. 

The next hour felt like the LONGEST hour of my life. 

I answered every question, hoping it would stop, but by the time I got to about 240, I knew I would go the whole way. 

5 hours and 45 minutes into the test (w/ a 6hr limit), I finally reached 265.
I still vividly remember my last question, and knowing that the last couple questions would determine the result... 

I was almost certain that I failed. 

The drive home felt like eternity and all I wanted to do was sleep...I didn't eat or drink anything and my head was pounding. 

When I got home, I ate some fruit, drank some tea, and flopped out on my bed. 

This was probably one of the most stressful and hardest days of my life. 

I ended my day w/ a short prayer to God, simply thanking Him for being w/ me throughout this journey. 

September 14th, 2010. 

This is a day I will never forget. 

Being that I haven't been involved or engulfed musically for the past 2-3 years, I wanted to finish my EP. 

So for the past 3 or 4 days leading up to this day, I was w/ one of my best friends Jordz recording day and night. 

I remember going home on this tuesday morning at around 2:30am being thoroughly exhausted. 

Went out into the kitchen and grabbed a snack before bed, and then just flopped out on my bed. 

This was the 4th business day, and people say that if you've passed, your name shows up on the website between 3-5. 

I had pretty much already accepted that I didn't pass, and that I needed to start studying again... 

Slowly I opened up my Laptop, close to 3am, and typed in my name... 

& there it was....RUSSELL IVAN YULIP ISBERTO, RN 

I quickly got up and woke up my brother, dad and mom and we all stayed up till for a while, just thankful. 

The Lord walked me through every step. 

And I still to this day believe that Jesus will never give you anything you cannot handle. 

Every thing that happens in our lives happens for a reason, whether it be for us to grow or witness to others His power. 

I want to live each day of my life, fully trusted & dependent on Him, because there is nothing we can control. 

He, before we were even born, had a plan set out for us, and it's only up to us to follow Him. 

This test was a true testimony of what the Lord can do for us. 

I put my whole trust in Him and believed, truly believed that I could do it w/ Him on my side. 

When you believe in Him, you have an all powerful God that can change and do so many things in your life, that you thought couldn't be possible. 

I'm just so thankful and blessed that I have a God that fully believes in my potential and is willing to take me places and give me experiences that will change my life so I can witness to others His power and strength. 

There are going to be times in our lives where we slip and fail on our side, but God never gives up on us. 

He always has His arms open and is just waiting for us to come.
There are times when we won't want to come, but why? Jesus is the only answer and all we need to do is accept and do our part. 

I also revert back to this verse in the bible from Proverbs 3:5 

"Trust in the Lord w/ all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding" 

Life will have plenty of obstacles, and there have been many times when I tried tackling them on my own. 

This is a constant reminder that "we don't have too". 

God will always guide us. 

God will always carry us. 

God will never leave us. 

God will and has always had a specific plan for us. 

God will continue to bless us if we trust and obey Him. 

God will never fail us. 

This experience has led me to experience the powers of Jesus. 

It has taught me many valuable lessons about life and I've discovered things about myself that I will continue to grow from and use in my life as strength and advice to others. 

My prayer today is this:

Dear Jesus, 

I am your child. A child that is thankful for all the blessings you have given to me. 

The past 3 months have been hard & stressful, not only for me, but for those around me. 

The journey has only just begun, and I'm asking that you'll be there to walk w/ me every step of the way. 

I am only Human and can only do so much. But w/ you Lord on my side, I can accomplish anything. 

Continue to work through me, none of us are perfect, but when we seek You, we become better people.
Come into my heart to day and work through me so that others can see You through me. 

Let me be an instrument so that those who need you most can see You working through me. 

Touch my life, so I may begin to touch others in a positive way, leading them to You. 

My life and my experiences are yours my Lord, and this is a journey I'm looking forward to taking together. 

Bless not only my life, but those around me. 

My family, my friends, the worlds leaders, and those who make a difference in our world today. 

We need you more than ever Father, and all we need to do is Seek you First, and everything will fit together. 

I love you Lord and forgive me for all of my short comings. 

These things I ask in your name. 

Always, 

Russy

Month 1 update.

I'm doing this little weight loss tracker, to keep me motivated. 

I've set goals for each month, and do weekly weigh ins. So here is the first month.

Goals: lose 20 lbs -- 203 lbs.
August 6th (start) = 223.3 lbs
    August 13th = 216.2
    August 20th = 212.6
    August 27th = 210.4
    Sept 3rd = 207.2

    Sept 8th = 206.2 (I did not work out this week, haha...one pound is better than none! :P)

Weight loss = 17.1 lbs; short of 20 pounds, but not bad for a start :)



Next goal...October 8th: 191 lbs

whatta day...

Today was one of those days where you just hope and pray. 

I know the Lord was with me the whole time, and now it's just wait & see.
Proud of myself for sticking it out, I'm just ready for the next step. 

Thank you Jesus for never leaving me today and making sure I was calm throughout. 

G'nite world. 

Live. Love. Be blessed :) 

always, 

Russy 

In my dreams...

Life is perfect. 

Every day w/out a care in the world, and all our worries are forever forgotten. 

I wish that I could just close my eyes and not be burdened w/ the things of this world. 

I am truly looking forward to the day when Jesus comes. 

No more death to loved ones, no more worries about gaining weight, or passing a test. 

I've always been about caring for the world, and making a difference. 

But sometimes all these barriers and obstacles get in the way, that it gets hard to do those things. 

I'm truly blessed, and thankful for all the blessings that the Lord has given me. 

But I really just can't wait till we all go to heaven and are w/ the Lord forever. 

*sigh*, tomorrow can change my life...and I put my full trust in Jesus that this is His plan. 

I put my full effort in this, and if it's my time to pass, it'll be my time.
All I can do now, is give it up to Jesus and remember that I am here for Him, and Him alone. 

This is my prayer for today:

Father God, 

May I never doubt any thing I do because you are by my side. 

You've continued to strengthen my life, because when I walk w/ You, I'll never walk alone. 

Give me the strength to believe in myself and the patience to carry out the tasks you've set out. 

Forgive me Lord for my short comings, and may you continue to work through me to make me a better person. 

I love you Jesus, and I'm just thankful that you've stuck w/ me through thick and thin. 

Till tomorrow, G'nite Father and give me a good nights rest. 

Always, 

Russy

please?

Home sick.

I always love hearing a good message at church, and today was one of those messages I really needed to hear. 

A lot of the times, I forget that this place we call "home" here on earth...really isn't even home. 

Jesus has promised us a place that will be a gazillion times better then this place we worry about. 

There are so many worries here on earth, many that won't matter...well, ever again in our lives. 

*sigh* I can't wait till the day where Jesus calls us home and shows us that all of our worries for no apparent reason at all. 

He has everything under control, and even though we need to carry our part here on earth, there's paradise waiting for us on the other side. 

I'm guilty of worrying a little too much and stressing myself out, when all I need to do is remember that Jesus is just waiting for us. 

Vasa and I sing a song called "Until Then", and it always reminds me...that as much as we want to go home to see Jesus, He is just as anxious and excited to take us back home. 

I'm mentally exhausted from studying and trying to get my life in order, but I just need to trust & believe that Jesus will carry us through no matter what. 

& to make it even more sweet, we aren't here on this earthy for very much longer...He's is so close to taking us home, and that day...will be the happiest days of our lives. 

I can't wait to see my Lola again and just tell catch up and tell her everything, and Manong ken, I can't wait till the two of us share another laugh with one another and remember all those good times we've had!
*sigh*, that day is soon...and I'm so ready for that day!
My prayer today is:

Dear Father in Heaven, 

I'm constantly anxious and stressed Lord. 

I find myself worried about things that I know you'll take care of.
It might not be today, tomorrow, or the next...but I know you always have it in your plans. 

Help me to put my ultimate trust in your hands. Let put all my worries aside and let me hop on your back so you can carry me through it all.
You know how heavy my heart can get, and how down I may be...but why do I need to be, when all I have to remember is that YOU are by my side and that if I trust and believe in you Lord, You will bless my life in more ways than any one can ever imagine. 

Lord Jesus, place my heart in your hands, and guide my every action. 

From my words, to my thoughts, and everything in between.
Let me walk faithfully, and be an example to others, so that I may show that Your LOVE truly exists. 

Forgive for my short comings Lord Jesus...and grant me your grace. 

Father, this coming week is a HUGE week in my life...and whatever happens Lord, I know and trust that you have plans for me, and I will follow any direction that you put me in. 

Thank Lord Jesus for the many blessings you have given me and family, and continue to guide us in all that we do. 

I love You Jesus. 

All these things I ask, In your name. 

Always, 

Your son.

Anxious.

I wish I wasn't so anxious & nervous about my test. 

I know I can do this, but I catch myself w/ butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it. 

I hope & pray that next week is a good week.
I've worked really hard for the last 2 1/2 months & I'm super tired. 

Exhausted, but still determined. 

My prayer for today is: 

Dear Jesus, 

I put my full trust in you Lord. Please help me to believe in myself as much as YOU and those around me believe in me. I'm scared, but excited at another opportunity to be closer to help others who are sick. If this is my time to pass my test Lord, please guide my every thought to every answer that I put down. I know that I can do ALL THINGS through YOU Father, and it's up to me to believe & I do. 

Thank you Lord for all the blessings you've blessed my family and I with. I love you Lord so much, and continue to work through me so that I can continue to be an instrument of the your work. 

All these things I ask, in your name. 

Always, 

Russy

Progress.

Definitely feels good to get results :)
Small steps. It's not a sprint, but a marathon.
and I'm ready for more.

Cheeze Its?

I usually mix cottage cheese w/ fruit... 

But today I felt like eating the two separate...

and what do you know...cottage cheese kinda taste like CHEEEEZE ITS!! 

haha...one of my favorite snacks EVERRR! 

k...back to studying & eating cottage cheese flavored cheeze its! haha :)

Feels good!

 I really proud of myself.
It's been EXTREMELY long since I've been this consistent and feel this good. 

Yesterday, I took the liberty to read some of my blogs the past year and a half. 

& might I say, I progressed & regressed so many times, that it became a disappointing trend. 

Good 2 or 3 days, bad for 2 weeks. It kinda got a little depressing reading them. 

I'm pretty sure the people around me heard that I was trying, but was I really?
I mean, I attempted to try...but attempting to do something, and actually doing it are totally different. 

The past month made me realize that I do have the will power to do it.
Now, it's just about sustaining the consistency that I have to have in order to make this change of health. 

But, with that said...I'm proud of myself.
I know a lot of the times, I'm really hard on myself and expect a lot, but I hate failing. 

I hate knowing that I didn't put my all into something. 

So here goes...it really feels good to get 4 weeks under my belt. :)
*sigh* now...for the rest of my life. 

Ready, get set....2nd round. 

September, Day 1: REST

Lately, I've been so tired. 

Studying...working out...more studying...eating 5-6 times a day. 

Last night, I tried to get my butt off the couch to workout and stop studying. 

But, I just couldn't seem to shake off the exhaustion. 

Sometimes you just have to listen to your body and rest. 

As much as I wanted to workout, there is always tomorrow, and sometimes rest is what you need. 

I'm refreshed & ready for the month of September. 

August has been good, but another month means, another step closer to being where I want to be. 

Healthy, Motivated and most importantly Changed. 

I'm so thankful for the life that I have and wouldn't change it for a thing in this world. 

The Lord has truly blessed me, and will continue to do so.
So here we go...the start of September. I'm looking forward to everything you have to offer. 

Till then.
Live. Love. Be Healthy. 

always, 

Russy