Mission 20 in 30.

20 pounds in 30 days. LET'S GO!

June

Dear June,

April & May have been horrible to me. A part of me is happy I've pretty much maintained what I had lost, but the other half of me is angry that I let myself plateau. I worked hard to get where I am, and it's easy to go back to where I once was. 

There isn't much else I can say, but "try hard" and stay motivated. That's the problem, when "life" starts to happen, excuse...after excuse is made, and then we fall back to our old habits. I'm not quite at the point of my old habits, but some of them are definitely forming and JUNE, you're a vital part of this journey. 

I know I said that about April & May, but I let myself down and it's time to get the ball rolling again. Gotta do this, and do it smart & hard! 

June, you are going to be the TURNING month where it all comes back into place. I feel it already. No carb June, I'm ready for you!

Fallen off...

I'm not gonna make any excuses. I've been lazy & it's showing.

I'm no where near where I need or want to be & this 50lbs challenge is gonna be STEEP. 

I was afraid that working on nights was going to be difficult, but add other factors, it's been tough.
I'm not gonna make it my excuse, cause life happens, and it's me to be on top of things. 

Hopefully, June will bring me better results than April & May, because I'm regressing BIG TIME. 

Being tired & being lazy are horrible combinations in anything in life...so it's time to change that. 

Starting JUNE, I'm going to back to my SUPER low carb to no carb diet.
I need to start putting restrictions to get me back into shape. It's the first step.
I've maintained by eating less, but haven't watched what I've been eating.
It's time to change that and really make it a point to stay on track. 

I love being successful & hate failing. So I need to do this... 

LET'S GO!

God gave me a voice.

The past year or so (even longer) has been a tough struggle musically. I've grown so distant from what once use to be my greatest passion and first love. I went from wanting to perform every where and trying to find and getting offers to sing at shows in numerous places, to not wanting to even sing in the shower. 

Today marked the day when I put my piano/keyboard back inside my room. For the past couple of months my 2 keyboards have been stored away, nicely kept in another room in the house, collecting dust. What once use to be my way out of stress, became a distant piece of equipment that hardly meant anything to me.

My voice that I had once used to sing in church as a kid, harmonize in choir and in groups, and then used it to create "RuSouL", just because something "I USED TO DO".

It hit me today that, God gave me this talent. And for me to stop singing and playing the piano because I felt like I was going nowhere with it and that there were so many people out there better than me, so why try? Is extremely disrespectful to what God has planned for me since the day I was born.

It's not to be a million dollar superstar in the business, or even a huge youtube star that everyone wants to be now a days. But it's to be used to be a light of hope, to be something positive in a world of the reverse. To me, music is something to be shared with one another. A set of emotions that can capture life in it's unadulterated image. To be used for God and his works and to spread His love throughout the world. 

I don't know if I'm going to be making more music videos, performing more, or whatever...all I know is, I want music to be a part of my heart like it once was. I want to sing till my voice is gone, whether it's in the shower or in front of people. I just want to use music as a way to communicate with the world.

I am truly grateful that the Lord has given me this talent, and it's not something I want to waste. God gave me a voice, so I'm going to use it and use it for good.

Clarification.

Dear readers, 

If any of you actually read my blogs, and you have read the one below.
I am not an angry person. haha 

But someone who lives off motivation. Motivation can get you places. 

Knowing when and how to challenge yourself is important in life. 

If you look at any successful athlete, musician, artist...

These individuals needed to get over barriers, use motivation from their past...

Motivation that will help them get to the next level. 

Kobe Bryant when he steps on the court is a whole different monster....

& that will be me.
My workouts will be all about motivation.
What I eat and plan as my diet will be because I am motivated to prove those people wrong. 

I'm READY!

Prove the doubters wrong...BE WHAT YOU WANT TO BE!

This is the 3rd phase of my weight loss. 
Getting over the first 2 humps took extreme will power and determination.

Climbing over the 3rd and 4th will be like trying to crawl out of quick sand and grabbing on to barbed wire fenses to get out.

One of my biggest motivations has always been do it to SHUT UP all the people who ever made fun of me. 

Do it to prove all those who doubted I could ever do it, that I can and I will. 

When I was younger, there were so many times I felt like so many people ganging up on me just to make me feel like SH!T.  My mentality will be to take all that SH!T that was ever said to me and THROW it in their face! Proving doubters wrong will always SHUT THEM UP.

My motivation this time around is different...it's getting past that next level and making sure that I AM GOING TO SUCCEED. MISSION 20 has OFFICIALLY BEGUN! 

I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES. 
The old "train like a freak" mentality is back!  
LET'S GO!

Mission 20.

I've been stuck. Mainly because I've been complacent and because of my own doing.

I worked hard to get under 200 and under 190. And I always make the excuse of "something coming up" to prevent me from achieving more. 

This is mission 20. I weighed in at 190 this morning, and after all I did was EAT this weekend, I know 20 isn't hard to reach.

Sustaining being 190 has been a blessing, but I know I with putting in the hard work again, I can easily get under 170 with time. I'm currently on a bet w/ my coworkers that I will need to be at 170 by Christmas of this year. That is more than reachable in my eyes and I know I can get there earlier and go above and beyond that.

This is "Mission 20". No more going out to eat. Commit to at least 3 days at the gym per week. And doing whatever it takes, in a healthful way (no supplements, no short cuts) to get there. I need to quit making excuses again. The last thing I want is to get back to where I was and lose all the hard work I put in.

Let's do this, again.