Graduation.

Where do I begin?
Graduation is 2 days away... 

Back in 2004, I remember not knowing what I was going to do w/ my life. I spent a good portion of my first year and a half "post-high school" experiences in the library. Consumed w/ all the prereqs required to be accepted into a nursing school. I remember the long nights studying A&P, Chemistry, Microbiology, and all sorts of other classes preparing me for the future. I worked SO hard and really didn't have a life. 

Most of my friends wondered where I went, why I never went out anymore and why was I always in a bad mood. In high school, I never really pushed myself to work hard. I did enough to get by and the grades came easy. In college...it was a whole new story. With the amount of time I spent studying, you would be certain that I would at get straight A's or even high B's. But little did I know that I was in for torture and some failures. 

As my time at La Sierra University came to a close, and all my prereqs were all but done, I started to apply for the schools in late 2005 and was hoping to make it in sometime early in 2006. This was maybe one of the most challenging times in my life, where I really didn't know what was going to happen and where I would be or where my life was going to take me. My first letter brought me to the dreaded "waiting list" and eventually would end up as a "sorry we are currently not accepting any more applicants". I was so bummed and eventually took 2 full-times jobs: Lollicup & LLU nutritional services. These were the times when I realized what hard work is, and how important getting an education really is. 

After another disappointing (un)acceptance for spring quarter of 2006, I really questioned whether or not I really even wanted to be a nurse. It was then that I got news at the end of May that I was accepted to the PRN/Bridge program, which harbored students who needed a jump start into their nursing career with classes that pertained to nursing, but was a probational period that required all students to maintain above a 3.5 (B average on all classes). Anything below a B would be subjected to dismissal from the school.
Getting that ACCEPTANCE letter was by far, one of the biggest highlights of my life and one that would change my life and become the greatest blessings I have ever received. These courses I took really prepared me and got me acquainted with the school and the teachers. I owe so much to Dr. Condon for all her hard work and encouragement throughout the tough times, and this truly was one of the quarters I will always remember. Being a "newbie" and not knowing what to expect is an exciting yet scary situation to be in, but such a great start to the journey. 

After this quarter, the "real" part of nursing school began. FUNDAMENTALS of nursing. The course where people really find out if they want to be a nurse or not (kind of). This is where you learn all your skills and different aspects of nursing that you will carry with you throughout the journey. Such a fast paced quarter, with many (pre tests) just to get you in and make sure you understand everything. I'll always remember my first clinical experience on 4100, I was so scared to walk into my patients room, and all i hear were the loud beeps of the monitor, I seriously thought my patient was going to die! haha, but it was definitely a learning experience.
After fundamentals were all the "core" classes everyone dreaded. MEDSURG classes and Pharm. I've never cried and felt more disappointed in my life. This portion of nursing school was so demanding, I put in 110%, yet I couldn't even get a clean 76% to pass. I've never failed a class in high school, and these were the time when I was on the brink of getting kicked out of school. Somehow, someway, after lots of hard work, tears & prayers...I got through these classes. The LORD was definitely so good to me. I always spoke these words to the Lord: "Jesus, if you really want me to become a nurse. If this is the path that YOU want me to take. Lord, please show me. and let my hard work pay off". He blessed me and carried me through.
 

The rest of nursing school after that was not a breeze through. But I guess it takes getting use to how teachers teach, and the system to really become a good student. I'm not the best test taker. I have what they call "test anxiety" where I freak out before tests. This led to my brain just "freezing" on me and caused me to question myself on my answers. I learned in school to be patient. I learned to be humble. To know when to ask for help and to speak up for certain things you question. Don't just lie down and accept defeat. Fight for yourself, but do so in a professional manner. There were many times when I felt like giving up. Just imagine studying your butt off and not passing by less than 1%. In one of my classes I got a 75.2% and because they round down, I didn't pass. God put me through these challenges to teach me that life isn't a cake walk and that we can get everything we want. I worked for all of my grades and I'm just blessed to have gotten passed it all. 

Loma Linda University will always have a place in my heart. I went through so many ups and downs. So many tears of sadness and tears of joy. I was blessed in a faculty who believed in me and supported me through the tough times. Making sure that I got all the help I needed in order to become successful. I owe plenty to those who just gave me hugs when I needed them, or just made sure to remind me to rest, exercise, not to over think, just to come in prepared. pray. and do your best. These people were some of the most genuine individuals I have ever met in my life, and people that I will always carry close to my heart and if advice is needed, I know where to go. Even in my accident a few months ago, the dean visited me in the hospital, and the day I stepped back on campus, I had teachers so concerned and took a moment to let me know they prayed for me and kept me in their thoughts. I know I owe close to 100,000, but the memories and relationships I have built with some of the people at this school, will never have a price tag. I take away so many pleasant experiences that have taught me to become a better person and to become a better nurse.

So here we are. 2 days away from the big day and I sit here in my room happy, yet genuinely sad that I am leaving. I won't miss the stressful days of finals, but I will definitely miss seeing the faces of my teachers on the daily. I will miss getting tickets in the "pharmacy" parking lot because of the super small "nursing" parking lot that only holds 5 car spots. I will miss being late to class and having to sign in. I'm going to miss checking my mailbox (330) and having it stuffed because I haven't checked it all quarter. I'm gonna miss Dora the secretary (haha). I'm going to miss the computer lab and printing 100 pages and than realizing I didn't need those prints. I'm going to miss the student lounge with the 100 year old couches. I'm going to miss wearing the baby blue tops and the white pants. I'm going to miss going to ACTS. I'm going to miss not knowing (still) what the room numbers are and getting lost every quarter, even after being at the school for 3 years. I'm going to miss using the pharmacy "mens" bathroom, when I really need to go, cause I was shy to share single bathrooms with women. I'm going to miss OB (not really. haha). I'm going to miss snowcones. I'm going to miss eating at the hospital cafeteria and charging it on my student card. I'm going to miss careplans. I'm going to miss the skills lab and our head to toe assessments. I'm going to miss saying "I'm a nursing student from Loma Linda". All in all, I'm going to miss being a student. 

These past 3 years of nursing school have been such a blessing. One that I am thankful for everyday. I am going to carry all the things that I've learned and make many more memories and learning experiences to continue my journey. I'm thankful for my family & friends who have supported me from day one. From the time I decided in high school to be a nurse, till now. The Lord has paved the way for me to be his instrument, and I'm ready to go wherever he takes me. 

So here it is. Savor the memories. Be thankful for the blessings. 

I'm excited and ready for this weekend.
God is definitely the center of it all. 

Live. Love. Be Healthy 

Always, 

Russy :)