Exhaustion.

I am beyond tired. Going from not having a job and not knowing what to do w/ my time for 5-6 months, to finally having one and being overwhelmed is just that. Overwhelming.

God has blessed me with the chance of a life time. To help those who are sick in the hospital. To care for these individuals not only physically, but emotionally and most importantly spiritually.

So, honestly, I have nothing to complain about. I wished and pray for this opportunity to arise and I am truly grateful and thankful for it each and every day that I wake up. It has brought a sense of assurance for my parents and Jenny that I now have a job that will help out around the house and more importantly help me in my future.

With that said, I am just beat. All I want to do is crash when I get home, and at times, even eating comes secondary to getting some rest. I have to learn how to take care of my body, because sometimes at work, I got 5-6 even 7 hours without putting a single thing in my stomach, and worse I go about the same amount of time not even taking a drink of water.

This is all new to me, and it's going to get easier and much more routine with time. I'm looking forward to the day that I can be fully comfortable and confident with my job, but for now I am in that phase where I can't be too hard on myself. Every day is a learning process, a step towards the ultimate goal and that's to be the best nurse that I can possibly be.

I pray each night that God will give me the strength to wake up each day, ready for the challenges at hand. To treat my patients like family and to do it all with Him at the center of it all.

As tired as I am, I am blessed. As tired as I am, I know He's watching me every step of the way. As tired as I am, I know that He will never give me anything that I cannot handle.

This is the beginning, and nobody said it would be easy. For now, all I can do is rest, relax and get ready for another day. Thank you Jesus for everything and for always giving me the things that I don't deserve. Help me to pay it forward and to always be reminded that YOU are the one we live for and everything is always going to happen according to your will and plan.

Be blessed.
Russy