So, a few years ago I was actually living a healthy lifestyle, in shape (not round), and had tons of energy. At the same time of that peak, I got accepted into nursing school. I'm the type of guy who loves challenges and proving to people I can do certain things that people didn't think I could do. When I got into the program, I was a lean 146 pounds at around 6-7% body fat. My abs started to come out and my arms, chest and other muscles were popping out.
I worked my ass off to be in that kind of shape.
I worked my ass off to be in that kind of shape.
My biggest fear had been to gain all the weight I use to carry around growing up as a kid again. For some odd reason, I kind of wanted to test myself if I could do it all over again. It wasn't like a sudden decision where I was like "I'm going to gain 100 pounds", but more like, I want to see if I can gain some weight and lose it again. (Note to self: horrible idea).
It started off by eating a little more than I usually eat. More carbs, more protein, still not a lot of fast food, but at this point it wasn't out of control. After my first year of nursing school, I was probably between 165-175 and I had finally "Gained the weight" I wanted to lose. When your body gets used to consuming so many calories, it adapts, and in this case my body wanted more and it was hard to lose that weight. Instead of losing the weight, by the middle of my second year as a nursing student, I gained another 10-15lbs and was more around 190.
I got scared and little did I know how gaining weight can play with your emotions, confidence and just your outlook of yourself. I lost some of that weight and got to probably around 170 again, and then love happened. I fell in love w/ Jenny and when you're in love, you want to share so many things together (including great food). I went from 170, to 180, then slowly crept up to 190-195. All of a sudden I found myself at 230 at the start of my third and final year. This was weight that I needed to get off fast, but being that my body had adapted once again, it became nearly impossible to me.
Soon, I felt like I was one of those people on TV that needed intervention and was fighting for his life. I would wake up lethargic, neck pains, had a hard time doing things that use to be easy w/out sweating up a storm (walking up stairs, wiping your butt (sorry TMI), etc...) the things that fat people struggle with, I struggled with. Growing up I was fat and at 23-24 yrs old, I was the fat guy again.
It started off by eating a little more than I usually eat. More carbs, more protein, still not a lot of fast food, but at this point it wasn't out of control. After my first year of nursing school, I was probably between 165-175 and I had finally "Gained the weight" I wanted to lose. When your body gets used to consuming so many calories, it adapts, and in this case my body wanted more and it was hard to lose that weight. Instead of losing the weight, by the middle of my second year as a nursing student, I gained another 10-15lbs and was more around 190.
I got scared and little did I know how gaining weight can play with your emotions, confidence and just your outlook of yourself. I lost some of that weight and got to probably around 170 again, and then love happened. I fell in love w/ Jenny and when you're in love, you want to share so many things together (including great food). I went from 170, to 180, then slowly crept up to 190-195. All of a sudden I found myself at 230 at the start of my third and final year. This was weight that I needed to get off fast, but being that my body had adapted once again, it became nearly impossible to me.
Soon, I felt like I was one of those people on TV that needed intervention and was fighting for his life. I would wake up lethargic, neck pains, had a hard time doing things that use to be easy w/out sweating up a storm (walking up stairs, wiping your butt (sorry TMI), etc...) the things that fat people struggle with, I struggled with. Growing up I was fat and at 23-24 yrs old, I was the fat guy again.
Emotionally this took a great toll on me. I was embarrassed and never wanted to go out because I wanted to hide and not have anybody see what I had done to myself. I use to be an inspiration to others to lose weight and live healthy, and now I'm the guy who is searching for their own source of inspiration. I fought hard. I would be eat good and exercise (a little bit) for 1-2 days, then revert to binge eating and being lazy. I would think about which buffet I want to go next and exercise would not even be in the back of my mind. I struggled, heavily.
Then around this time last year, I found out about "Raw Foods". I started to do a lot of research, bought a juicer, got a couple books that would help me. It was a stretch, but I felt like I needed to do something, and now. I was on 70% raw foods for awhile, and I saw tremendous results. From 230 I went down to about 210-212 and stayed there for awhile. Then my accident happened. People looked down on what I was doing, and blamed my juicing and eating raw foods for what had happened. This wasn't the case at all. It was probably the one thing that was helping save my life, and now it's being blamed for my accident. So I didn't juice for a while, and stopped being healthy again.
During thanksgiving, I ballooned up to about 228 again and I pretty much had accepted that I was going to be like this for the rest of my life. To me, I had tried and nothing seemed to work. I said to myself, "Maybe my metabolism had just slowed down, and there's nothing I can do". Honestly, I was trying...but probably not hard enough, and most of all, I wasn't being consistent. I had given up on myself, and I'm pretty sure a lot of people around me did as well. The worst is when your family stops saying things about you losing weight, because at that point, they too have accepted that you're most likely going to be like this the rest of your life.
During thanksgiving, I ballooned up to about 228 again and I pretty much had accepted that I was going to be like this for the rest of my life. To me, I had tried and nothing seemed to work. I said to myself, "Maybe my metabolism had just slowed down, and there's nothing I can do". Honestly, I was trying...but probably not hard enough, and most of all, I wasn't being consistent. I had given up on myself, and I'm pretty sure a lot of people around me did as well. The worst is when your family stops saying things about you losing weight, because at that point, they too have accepted that you're most likely going to be like this the rest of your life.
After my cousin Ella left to go back to London after her vacation here, I made the commitment to myself that I was going to change. 2011 was going to be a different year. My so I thought "great idea", didn't turn out so well. Why did I let myself gain that weight back that I had worked so hard at taking off. I think sometimes I challenge myself too much and sometimes you just got to ride that wave and stay consistent. Sure it wasn't all about me challenging myself to gain that weight, but your psyche and mentally will change and certain things will become a habit. Being unhealthy became my bad habit, and it was hard to break.
Right now, I'm at a crucial point where this is the time where it becomes a lifestyle and not a diet. I think I have passed the hump where I've nearly broken most of my bad habits, and it's time to stay consistent. My challenge should be to keep improving and to keep getting healthy. I'm blessed to live in an area (Loma Linda) that preaches the health message, and I want to make that a HUGE part of my life.
I'm as determined as ever. I've accepted that there are some things on this journey that we cannot change. There are going to be obstacles and road bumps that will prevent us from reaching our goals. But it is up to me to dig deep and fight against the things that will set me back and put me back to where I was before. I know I always right about "I WILL NEVER BE THERE AGAIN", but it's easier said than done. I'm going to have to sacrifice and dedicate myself to doing certain things that my body is not use to doing. I'm going to have to re-learn the art of saying "no thank you" to unhealthy foods that I want to, but shouldn't put in my body.
I'm as determined as ever. I've accepted that there are some things on this journey that we cannot change. There are going to be obstacles and road bumps that will prevent us from reaching our goals. But it is up to me to dig deep and fight against the things that will set me back and put me back to where I was before. I know I always right about "I WILL NEVER BE THERE AGAIN", but it's easier said than done. I'm going to have to sacrifice and dedicate myself to doing certain things that my body is not use to doing. I'm going to have to re-learn the art of saying "no thank you" to unhealthy foods that I want to, but shouldn't put in my body.
This whole thing, is a learning curve and all new, but will become familiar soon. Me gaining all that weight was a horrible idea. I never want to experience all the other things besides the physical, that comes w/ gaining weight. Emotionally it's a bad place to be, and you understand why so many obese people give up on themselves and give up on life. I won't be another statistic for unhealthy living, and the first step is admitting that I did (do) have a problem. I've gotten past that, and now it's time to be consistent and make this a big part of my life that I'm willing to do for the rest of my life.
I've learned from this whole thing great lessons, and hopefully I can be that "inspiration" story to others, so I can help them change their lives as well.
To life.
Live. Love. Be healthy.
Always,
Russy
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