My LOVE for food isn't such a good thing.

I love food. Who doesn't!

Well, my passion for food goes beyond eating it. Learning more about the in's and outs of how it's prepared, w/ what goes best with what, why you boil instead of fry, why you bake and poach, how to best use butter or olive oil...you name it, I'm a student of the cooking.
It has gotten so bad, that I catch myself watching ONLY food channels on tv. 

Food network, travel channel, back to food network...then I go on youtube for hours just to find how to cook something. 

I just absolutely LOVE food. 

If you put music or food (learning about it and cooking) in front of me, it would really be a hard choice for me. 

And honestly, I would probably pick learning more about cooking and travel the world picking up on how different cultures are transformed by their cousine and how it transforms their lives. 

I'm sounding pretty crazy at the moment, but I just can't deny my passion and intrigue for cooking. 

*sigh* 

This hasn't been the best for me. When you cook, you have to taste...and I can EAT (if you know what I mean?) 

I went from being able to control myself for the majority of the week & cheat one day... 

To basically cheating every day. 

My weight gains were so drastic and fast, but I ignored it. 

The beauty to me of cooking was being able to share it. I shared plenty of my "trial & error" recipes with so many of the people I loved, and I enjoyed doing it. 

But it led me to ignore my own body's needs of proper nutrition & exercise. 

If I'm going to be totally honest, emotionally...this weight gain has taken a lot out of me.
It's prevented me from going places because of how embarrassed I was. 

Jenny keeps asking me to please come out to her area more, and there were plenty of good reasons why I wouldn't go such as school and being broke for gas, but a lot of it had to do w/ me being FAT. 

There were also times, as a musician, I wouldn't go to a certain event or decline a show because of how I looked. 

When you're up there, it always feels like people are not only listening to your music, but looking at you as a whole, and I didn't ever want to be that person that people make comments on. 

I would get these youtube comments on my videos like..."Dang, Rusoul is putting on some weight" or "He's looking a little hefty", things like that really hurt...but what did I do, turn to food for comfort. 

The "feel good" feeling that food gives you only last a few minutes, but the end result can drastically change your life. 

To those who think I didn't notice it...of course I did.
I tried to avoid the subject when talking to people because I was embarrassed and ashamed that I let myself go that much. 

I'm tired of feeling that way, and I am adamant of making a change in my life. 

My love for food doesn't have to make my life, hell. But it can be a treat of what's to come in heaven. 

Jesus says to take care of our bodies like temples, and that was something I didn't do. 

This isn't just for me, but for my Dad, Mom, Kuya, Jenny, Cousins, Tito's & Tita's, Friends... 

I'm not going to stop cooking good food, but I'm going to change my life style and habbits and become a healthier person. 

I'm not going to let being over weight stop me from going to events. 

I'm going to over come everyone who thinks I can never change wrong. 

I'm going to do this for my future...I want my kids to have a daddy who can play for hours and be an example. 

Food will always be a big part of my life, but it will most certainly not change it for the worse. 

I love you all, and this one's for you. 

Russy will be a changed person. 

Live. Love. Be Healthy. 

always, 

Russy