I didn't realize how fat I had truly gotten. How much I let myself go. I'm still disappointed in myself for allowing myself to make those decisions and make every excuse possible. I put the blame on everything else, but me. At 230+ lbs, I hid from everyone, I was ashamed of how I looked and it prevented me from being happy. Food eventually was what I turned to in order to get that happiness, but that only added guilt and even more problems with my weight.
I never want to be the center of peoples conversations on, "have you seen how fat Russy got?" I never want to hide behind someone while taking a picture just to cover up how much I had let myself go. I never want to be out of breath just walking up a flight up stairs, I'm only 25 for goodness sake. I never want to feel like how I felt when I was younger, and how, when I go to the store people would stare at me because of how fat I was. I never want my family to worry about my health and to be afraid of how fat I can get or that I may eventually have a long term chronic illness that will take my life. I never want to let people down again. I never want to be the example of "what not to be". I never want to ever say or keep saying "Remember when I was...fit, skinny, healthy", that can be NOW and always.
I spent the past 2 years being "the fat guy". It's time to change that.
don't worry babe. i'm always here for you. i'll push you to the end! power couple right? :)
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