Push.

Sometimes I feel like I'm pushing so hard to get that rock on the stand (like the picture), but it just feels so far away. I just feel like dropping the ball and saying I quit (but quitting is not in my blood). I'm exhausted, if I'm going to be honest. Mentally I'm trying to stay focused, but the mental battle is just as hard as the physical battle. My mind is trying to trick my body into "REST", but I am capable of more. 

Watching the biggest loser tonight, and seeing these trainers push the contestants so hard, beyond what they think they can do, I feel the same way. I feel as if when I feel like I've done enough, to push through and do a little bit (or a lot) more. When I think I've put that rock on top of that stand, I need to dig deeper and make sure it's up there, because it's probably not enough. 

Maybe it's just one of those days where I'm struggling and need a boost. Whatever that boost may be, I need it. I took this journey before...took my body to the extreme. I know how much work it takes both emotionally and physically, and it's only going to get more tough. I need to get mentally checked in, because this road has just begun. As tired as I am, I'm never going to give up because this battle is my life. This is my health and I am the only one who can control it. Forget the diet pills and fad diets out there, forget lap band and lipo suction that all obese people drool over...this is about HARD WORK and DEDICATION. This is about me getting off my @ss and doing work. I control my own destiny, and if that rock doesn't get to that platform, I'm gonna be upset. 

This is my journey. This is my fight. As frustrated and as tired or exhausted as I may be, I'm going to believe that I can do anything and that my mentality is going to be, shut up and just do it. No more excuses. The past 2 years have been about excuses and blaming everything I can imagine, from school to no time, to whatever it is...I'm dedicated. I'm too far into this to be "tired". Let's go.